I feel like it's my job as a white person to obsess over it and educate myself and educate everyone but I'm only one person and no matter what I do it will never be enough.Tbf it’s almost impossible to avoid the stories. I get why, but from a mental health aspect- I feel you.
I feel like it's my job as a white person to obsess over it and educate myself and educate everyone but I'm only one person and no matter what I do it will never be enough.
Yes even things that I think are right turn out to be wrong and I'm feeling shamed constantly, because of that backpack you mention. Then I opt out of social media and feel like a traitor or something. Thanks for replying. Helps to know I'm not the only one struggling with this.I get this. And it’s hard, it’s hard to keep up with what’s right and what’s wrong and I want to. I absolutely do, but it feels like trying to jump on a hamster wheel going 90 mph while carrying an overloaded backpack of our own stuff and we are set up for failure. And I have no idea how to overcome it.
I agree. I told him I am not necessarily asking for a divorce. I've been pretty consistently asking to separate for the last couple of months. Even when things start to feel better, I realize it's only a matter of time before it goes to shit again and I'm tired.After catching up on posts I would think that living apart would be the best choice. Even if it's just temporary.
I believe that would give you both time to decide whether it should be a permanent thing or not. I think holding off on making a decision would be ideal.
Right now it's something you keep flip flopping back and forth on. You seem to want the relationship when things are ok but then want out if/when things don't go how you would like them to.
I think you would really benefit from living apart and working on yourself. It sounds impossible for you to make progress when you're constantly triggered by him.
Maybe he can work on himself too,then you can work together in deciding about the marriage at a later date.
They say don't make any major decisions for 6 months in Alanon groups. That a person needs to work on their self first. Maybe that philosophy applies here too?