Plain and Simple is What I Need

[Grama-Herc]

I have been on this forum for over a year and during that time I have had many ups and downs. I have received support during the good and bad times, but now I must express some deep resentment I have toward this forum

When I was placed in moderation it was for expressing my opinion. Ok, maybe I got out of hand with "my opinion" but according to the rules, I was allowed to have that opinion.

I apologized for my poor judgement, according to the powers that be! BUT
Ever since I came out of moderation I have been pretty much ignored by the powers that be. I write in my diary and the powers that be ignore me and offer no help with revelation.

I am still in the process of healing and a little help and acknowledgement would certainly help. If I sound needy---well maybe I am. I am in need of feed back on my progress. I am in need of recogonition that I exist within this forum.

"In put" is so important in the healing process and I feel that I am being denied on purpose becuse I step the on toes of "those powers tht be"

I have been accused, in the past, of seeking attention. I ws doubtful then. Now, YES, I'm seeking some attention. I'm seeking some attention in order to continue my healinf process.

 

[Cecilia]

Grama-Herc:

Do you have real-life friends that can support you on your journey? Real people can be much more supportive than what an on-line community can give you. Most likely, you are not being ignored. The moderators (is that who you are referring to as "the powers that be"?) are very over-whelmed. This is a good place to write your feelings and chat with others about your progress or ups and downs, but your real support will come from real-life people.

At least that has been my experience. Perhaps you have progressed to a new level and need to reach out more and live just a little bit more. Isn't that the goal? Allow yourself to expand beyond the forum.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Herc,

I will add my thoughts on this. Please don't be offended. There are over 2 thousand members on this forum. The *Power that Be* also has a life, other websites that he is involved with, children and personal problems that he is dealing with. We can't be everywhere all of the time.....

If he tried to devote personal time to each member he would be burnt out, living alone, and flaring with PTSD just from the stress of everything.

Yes, we all NEED.....But sometimes we need to find that within ourselves. The answers are there if we look deep enough and keep working at our trauma, going to therapy, and doing things that are healthy.

I'm sorry that you are feeling left out, or ignored. I honestly don't think that's the reason. JMO!!!!!

If there is anything that you need help with, why not start a thread and ask for the forums help as a whole?????

Hugs....

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi Grama Herc, maybe "the powers that be" notice that you are starting to improve in many different areas, and feel that their attention should be focused on other individuals that need their help, more than you do.

I have noticed improvement in you. I have been trying to stay off the forum due to some issues I've been dealing with, so I haven't been paying attention for the past 3 weeks, but I wanted to take a minute to let you know that when a person starts to feel better, they move into a different direction and need less support.

If that is not the case then the reason "the powers that be" don't communicate with you as much, could be as She Cat explained.

Now I want to let you know this, and please don't take offense. "The powers that be" have only acknowledged my presence once or twice in this forum to the best of my recollection, and either that says they think I'm doing well, or they don't have time.

Most of the support I have gotten was from members and a moderators. So don't take it personal because I'm not taking it personal to learn you got more attention from "the powers that be" than I did.

I hope you feel better and PM me with any overwhelming problems your having and I will try to help you if I can.

Take care
Tammy

 

[cherryblossom]

I'm sorry Herc, but I have to agree with She Cat and Seeking Nirvana. "The powers that be" do not have time to devote to each of us as individuals. It may be easy to see the owner of the site as the only person who can help you, but that is not the case. You have to find strength within yourself and has already been said, seek advice and support from others on the forum and not just from "the powers that be".

Maybe because you once had that input from Anthony, you now feel that you are being ignored. But no-one here (member, mod or owner), can devote their time and energy to supporting one other member.

I don't post much in the general forums. I mainly post in my diary, because that is a place I can record my thoughts. I don't 'expect' any response there. It is really just a place for me to gather my thoughts and reflect on that at a later date. If I have specific thoughts/questions, then I will start a thread.

Maybe this sound harsh, but if you need help over something, then you need to ask "the forum" for that help. You can't just expect anyone here to read your mind and 'come to your rescue'

 

[Grama-Herc]

Good Morning

This meeting is being called to order to explain the current condition of this writter. I just figured out why I had given up sheltering orphan kittens years ago.

I FORGET TO TAKE MY PILLS ON TIME! ! ! Then other times I forget to take them at all.
Therefore, I get into one of my "shitty" moods. We can thank my mom for this revelation. She asked me last night if I was eating right and getting enough sleep. She said I was getting grumpy and beginning to spend more time alone. THANK YOU MA!

Thanks guys for responding to this thread and no more pity party from me.

ps took my pills on time this morning

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

It's OK, at least your moving in the right direction. It's hard to accept when our support system has moved on, and we are left to deal with things on our own. But I believe that you can handle this, and it's probably in your best interest.

If they continue to hold your hand they are enabling you to stay ill, and that is something no one wants for you.

Take care
Tammy

 

[Grama-Herc]

Thanks for the input guys. It is nice to express myself and have some kind of feed back. Even if it is only an "atta girl"

 

[Nicolette]

Glad you worked out you were forgetting to take your pills Grama Herc and that you are getting back on top of things.

Might I please say I get a bit on the back foot when I feel Anthony is getting attacked. I feel posts like these are directed at Anthony as Rachel and I are only moderators. As we don't have the power or the knowledge Anthony has; he is the only one who some members believe can assist with their trauma diaries.

I have also learnt my lessons with commenting in the PTSD section after having my head bitten off....for no other reason that not understanding PTSD as well as required as I do not have it. On Anthony's advice I stay out of these areas unless I have something encouraging to say and when in doubt.... I don't post. My observation is that it also seems PTSD sufferers tend to listen more to sufferers than someone who does not have PTSD. At times I have watched Anthony post something I wanted to say and it was accepted even if disliked yet if I had said it there would have been a different reaction.... I have tried it. My point....PTSD sufferers reactions are hard to pick at the best of times and with work such as Trauma diaries some people here are only responsive when Anthony writes it as he is "the owner" yet someone else saying the same thing is not received so openly. I dare to say we need to look at how much weight we put on only Anthony's words when someone else who does not have the 'status' of being "the owner" might be just as therapeutic.

While you may have expectations coming here about the attention you receive I think it is a little unreasonable to expect one on one attention on an ongoing basis from Anthony alone. What Cherry, Tammy and Wendy have said is correct. From my point of view....I try and assist Anthony, as does Rachel, as the job of moderating alone is huge let alone posting. Occasionally I feel resentment towards the forum when Anthony is spending hours and hours on it which inadvertently impacts on our family time. I do understand and accept the forum is important to him and try to be understanding. I think some people here forget that at times, like yourselves, Anthony has a life which may require more of him lessening his time on the forum for a period. There are other times when he is ill and the forum is not a good place for him. Having to justify our actions and personal lives to meet the expectations of others is a bit much if you ask me.

Reminder: this forum is solely funded by us and Anthony, Rachel and I give our time freely to assist in its upkeep. As have Veiled, Bec and Kathy in the past and I am sure there were others over time. (Note: 3 people trying to manage the posts of over 2 thousands members is a huge task). Please don't expect more than coming here to share and learn and then you won't be disappointed. If you want ongoing one on one attention I suggest you find a good therapist.

 

[anthony]

All I will add to this fruitless topic is this; if you come upon this forum seeking my attention, my words, my acceptance, then you are here for the wrong reasons and should leave. The only reason any person should be here is to participate in a community as a member... not to seek attention, praise or approval from any one person... EVER. End of discussion.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Hey guys, Here we go again? I thought we could come here and express our feelings and opinions.

I was not attacking anyone in particular. I was looking for input into how I was feeling. I may not have expressed myself like an English major but I tryed to to explain how I felt.

Why is it I set you off so bad. I meant no harm. I was asking for help and got what I needed. The members of this forum as a community dealt with me and my issue. So why are you so upset? Nicolette, I was not attacking anyone and if you took it that way that is your issue.

Everybody else is allowed to express how they are feeling. Others are allowed to discuss their issues, Why when I do it-- do you get so pissed and I get another lecture?