Pregnancy, Medical Professionals And Ptsd

[Whitneys story]

Oh Bubzilla , I am so sorry to read this. It is very normal to have the yuks about physical being. Hair, body frump etc. generally pass. Hormones go through many changes.

Men generally don't get it. Your needs are important mentally and physically. When will you be discussing delivery options with your Dr. Soon I hope.

In the meantime I would get Rhett a baseball and a basketball, photos will do.
Show him the baseball and ask him how it would feel to pass it through his nostrils. If that is not effective show the basketball and ask him what orifice he could pass it through. Of course without anesthetic!

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Between your Dr and anesthetist they need to be fully aware of your concerns. The anesthetist is the one who will know what will be best. Every person is different and you know your body. I do hope you are able to have this resolved soon.

This is not a situation for compromise. :hug: Whitney

 

[HëllaBubz]

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

Well this is what cheered me up today after alternately bawling my eyes out since waking up.
Looked up from the armchair to see the cat hopping into the pram I just bought, a City Select Baby Jogger. Couldn't help but laugh when I saw his little white head and shoulders poking out of the bassinet!

I suppose 3-4 hours broken sleep hasn't really helped the situation either.

I have found that saying nothing to the other half is often the best way to get my point across, because then he has nothing new to distract him, he can only chew on what's been said so far.

Only one problem with borrowing Nugget and getting a baseball bat.......doggy gonna chew on baseball bat, and then other half won't look tasty! :p
I'm starting on Restavit tonight, so hopefully I can get a little rest tonight and return some sanity to my world.

I've made an appointment to see the obstetrician in the maternity shared care unit that I'm with, and I'll be seeing him/her in 3 weeks from now.

I also fired my psychiatrist, and feel much better after doing so, although I'm going to have to keep a lid/handle on things until I see my new one in 2 weeks time. I am so very tired, I just want to be able to rest and have a tiny bit of energy; I didn't think it was that much to ask!?

 

[Whitneys story]

What a precious kitty! And very nice pram. So glad to see you smiling! Sending sleepy restful nights and nappy days!

Keep posting and releasing while you are waiting appointments. The time will fly by. Hugs, Whitney

 

[Bilby]

((((Bubz))))

Really, it IS very normal to be feeling crappy about yourself and the way you look during pregnancy. What makes it worse, is that there is precious little that you can do about it right now - but it passes.

I'm so sorry people aren't listening to you! A word of advice - be very clear about your PTSD and what you have outlined here, about your feelings, when you speak to the obstetrician about an elective caesarean. They will need to completely understand where you're coming from, ok? As for caesareans themselves, feel free to message me to talk about them if you like - I've had three now... I may as well have just had a zip put in LOL!!

B x

 

[DharmaGirl]

But the best part of all is when they come out! True love. I would stare at my baby in the nursery (he was sick) and feel sorry for all the other parents that their baby wasn't as beautiful as mine. I was so funny. It is the most wonderful thing that happened to me, PTSD and all, in my entire life. I made his life the good part of my childhood, and the part I wished I'd had. I read books on the best ways to raise children without hitting or spanking (made me unpopular in my neighborhood), but he has turned out to be a wonderful teenager. You have the chance now to "reparent" yourself through him. Or her. You can do this, Bubs, you have done much harder things and you can do this too!

 

[CraftyCath]

Hi Bubz.

Thank you for being so honest when talking about what you are going through.

Simple answer as yourself and others have already said is that men do not understand, even those with experience of pregnancy and birth cannot KNOW how we feel. Like Whitney said, it feels like trying to :poop: a bowling ball!

One of the things that I learned and others have said is that it is your body and you are in control. It is what is best for you and the baby. At the end of it all you both will have a wonderful, beautiful baby. Leading up to that point it is all about you and if you are constantly stressed, worrying about the birthing process, then that isn't good for baby or you.

I had 2 normal births but had stitches both times, it was like sitting on barbed wire! A C section sounds right for you with your history. Could your other half talk with your midwife or obstetrician? He will be anxious and worried too so perhaps they could put his mind at rest? Just a thought.

As was said before...make sure your PTSD needs are met and stand up for what you want, what you need.

Good look and keep on posting.

:hug:

CC

 

[Whitneys story]

@CC, I have so missed you! And everything you said is spot on!

Barbed wire, oh now I remember! They gave me a little teeny can of Lanacaine. Charged me $8.00 40+ years ago US!

Things have so improved! All I can do is laugh now. There were 52 babies born in two days at the hospital I delivered in. You could not be released until you :poop:.

Imagine the surprise on the Drs. Face when he realized they had also stitched my arse shut.

Planned C section sounds like a great alternative. My Dr was golfing and did not think I would deliver so quick. They were medicating to slow the delivery. Ended up being a natural delivery. My son was not waiting. We joke as he came out fist first as if to make a statement. And he is the joy of my life. So is his brother born 13 years 4 hours later on the same day!

I never forget their birthdays which is coming up.

 

[Whitneys story]

Bubzilla, I caution the term elective C section. I know the rules may be different in your area. Insurance sometimes do not cover elective.

You request is medically necessary in my honest opinion, if this is the way you decide! I know they probably wanted to stitch my mouth shut. And I was cool as a cucumber.

I am so excited you will be meeting the Drs soon. A woman in delivery is not held accountable for her actions. Everything has plenty of time to work out your needs. Hugs, Whitney

 

[Froggie]

Just found this thread, congratulations (((((Bubzilla))))). See that you are going through all the same anxiety and questionning we all went through. I was so afraid of the pain that I was relieved when they said that I'll have an emergency C section - I have big babies! My daughter was 9 pounds 3 ounces and my son was 10 pounds 11 ounces. You seem to have a good instinct as to what plan will do best for you and your sweet babe, so go for it. Your child knows you are a protective mother and it shows.

 

[Britt.f7]

Oh Bub, you have that baby whichever way you feel best. My sisters, who both had all their babies without an epidural or any pain relievers, both swore by it as it was the only way to go. My first son I had an epidural and didn't feel a thing, not even the tongs they put up there to take him out. He was an early birth. The second time around I wanted drugs that just took the edge off. However, because I wasn't that dilated when I first came in they kept putting it off and laughed at me as if I was just crazy when I requested it. Surprise to them, my son was born within thirty minutes(if even) of my arrival. They had to run to get the interns, my doctor wasn't even there yet. Want to know what I told them when I had to push? I told them natural childbirth was way overrated! lol

My sister in law felt like less of a mom because she had a c section. Thing is, you are still having a baby, no matter what way you go about it. Nothing to feel shame for in your choices or to let anyone else try to shame you no matter if they gave birth or not.

So, again, you do what is best for you and that baby. Your feeling trauma is not going to help you or that child when he/she comes out.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Hey Guys!
So sorry I haven't replied in ages, some of my alerts haven't been coming up at all! GRRRR!

And very nice pram.

Me loves this pram to bits, have played with it, found all 3 cats in it at different stages, and now its sitting folded neatly under the crib. When I get my last pieces of furniture (except I'm not getting a change table), I'll post up pics for you all to see.

Other half is EXTREMELY proud of how cheaply I've found things, and I think I've managed to kit the whole thing, pram included, for under $2000, and get some of the best and most popular stuff on the market too!

be very clear about your PTSD and what you have outlined here, about your feelings, when you speak to the obstetrician about an elective caesarean. They will need to completely understand where you're coming from, ok? As for caesareans themselves, feel free to message me to talk about them if you like - I've had three now... I may as well have just had a zip put in LOL!!

I will be crystal, see-your-future-in-it clear. I'm seeing my pre-pregnancy GP tomorrow morning, and the poor bastard is going to have to hear some of the shit I went through in order for me to make him understand why a C section is the way to go. If I can have to explain it only ONCE, and then have him write a letter to the other medical professionals, it will help me considerably.

I'm also going to take extracts of my diary from on here, as well as some of my other posts, and compile a small history so that I don't have to say too much, but rather just let him and the others read it.

I don't express myself as clearly in verbal communication as when I sit down and write, you get more perspective when you are able to see everything you've read so far, and tie it in.

You have the chance now to "reparent" yourself through him. Or her. You can do this, Bubs, you have done much harder things and you can do this too!

Bloody Oath. Nuff said.

A C section sounds right for you with your history.

And I am 100% certain that once my doctors and other medical professionals hear and read about me, they will agree.

He will be anxious and worried too so perhaps they could put his mind at rest? Just a thought.

Well interestingly, my other half, amongst other things, said to the effect of:

My sister in law felt like less of a mom because she had a c section.

But I told him exactly what Britt said;

Thing is, you are still having a baby, no matter what way you go about it. Nothing to feel shame for in your choices or to let anyone else try to shame you no matter if they gave birth or not.
Your feeling trauma is not going to help you or that child when he/she comes out.

Imagine the surprise on the Drs. Face when he realized they had also stitched my arse shut.

Ok, me killed myself laughing when I read that.

Everything has plenty of time to work out your needs.

I plan to use every moment of the next 5 months making sure that things go as smoothly and trauma free as possible.

Once bubs gets here, any routine is going to fly out the window and I'll just have to wing it until bubs, other half and I all figure out what works best for us.
I have no desire to control things too much once bubs is here, he/she will be an individual of their own, as I'll just have to learn them so that I can make sure that full potential is taken advantage of to match my child's needs.

Screw planning them to be a scientist or concert pianist, they'll be whomever they are destined to be, and I am merely the protector and educator along the way.

You seem to have a good instinct as to what plan will do best for you and your sweet babe, so go for it.

Thank you. My mum has said the same thing, as have a few other people, so I'm feeling pretty supported.
Mum has been great about what I've told her about wanting a C section, and she understands why now that I've explained it, and what I've been trying to avoid, so things are a fair bit better right now.

I just picked up a baby high chair that is adjustable in height and size, and my brother in law has given us their baby bouncer which their 7 month old doesn't use any more, as well as offering heaps of clothes that they picked up whilst in Europe if we have a girl, and a collapsible bath and bath seat too!

So all I have left to get now, is a ottoman fold-out-into-single-bed, cot mattress, car seat, baby clothing basics, set of dresser drawers to put change mat or bath on, and maybe a few sleeping bags/swaddles, and I'm set!

I'm also not going to have a service dog with me when I have the birth because;

1. It's a C section
2. Dog has bombed out in training (see my thread about service dog)
3. New puppy which has yet to be picked out won't be ready for 6+ months

Ah well, I'll keep myself entertained by retraining mum's naughty little dog before rehoming her.....at least that will keep me out of trouble.

 

[CraftyCath]

Imagine the surprise on the Drs. Face when he realized they had also stitched my arse shut.

:roflmao: :hilarious:

Oh Whitney, that's priceless!!

Bub, you sound like you are really making progress and are sure of what you want.

I would, as Whitney said, check you insurance to see if you are covered for an elective C Section. We have a free health service in the UK, I'm not sure what it's like where you are.

:hug: CC