Ptsd: Did Someone Know And Not Do Anything?

[ExanimisRex]

People are basically good, I've heard that all of my life but I've never believed it. What surprises me is that grown adults still believe it and expect others to act accordingly. Sitting too close to the TV will ruin your eyes, masturbation will make you blind, girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, Santa and the Easter bunny, all lies to keep children in line.

We don't have locks on our doors to keep bad people out, we have locks to keep honest people out. If a bad guy wants into your home or car he will find a way regardless of your locks. You all seem to believe that if you leave $100 on a table at a restaurant that you can go back the next day to get it, surely no one would want your $100 bill.

Edit: I apologize if this sound harsh , cruel or to be aimed at anyone in particular, it isn't meant to be. I have PTSD along with severe recurring depression and I am Bipolar, the difference in me and others with similar problems is that I don't have up days, I don't have faith in mankind.

 

[AlterEgo]

No need to apologize, the truth hurts. I agree, we have all been taught our whole lives that it is disrespectful and forbidden to question our peers or any type of authority. It has become the very reason that the people we are taught to trust are the very people who take advantage of that trust. Its why people with authority continue to abuse the very people who look up to them. Its the same thing in every aspect of life. From parents to our government who trample all over people because they can.

There is evil in every walk of life. There will always be people ready and willing to stab you in the back while they give you a hug.

 

[.Bubbles.]

Yes. And it angers me so much. I've even been blamed for some of what happened to me. Had people turn a blind eye at bruises etc. It's easier for them to pretend it's not happening I guess.

 

[Misul]

I suffered severe abuse as a child. My entire family knew about it, even witnessed it, yet took my mother/stepfather's side. Some of my family members even said it was because I stressed my mother out - they blamed me. I was the most shy, quiet, and well behaved child; every parent's dream.

So even today, I have difficulties trusting anyone and believing that anyone could be on my side. I am constantly in fear of being blamed for things I didn't do or my past abuse. I am extremely stoic because of all this.

 

[Misul]

Oh, that goes for the "system" as well. The police were at our home constantly and DFS also did nothing. No one ever reached out to me until high school where a teacher didn't pry, but gave me emotional support.

 

[shoulderblades]

Other people's reactions to situations colour our own beliefs and as a victim it keeps us silent.

Spot on. I agree 110% with this.

Some of my family members even said it was because I stressed my mother out - they blamed me.

Same thing happened to me. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was 14, my grandmother turned to me and said, "If your mother dies, it will be your fault."

I felt so much anger reading everyone's responses to this thread. Not anger at any of you - anger at the people who should have been protecting you, who should have been listening to you and helping you. The anger comes from such a personal place, too, because I empathise on such a deep level. I have gone through my own version of what all of you in this thread have gone through and it breaks my heart to think that there are so many uncaring, unthoughtful, cowardly people out there who care more about their own reputation than the safety of a child or a person being abused. My heart goes out so much for everyone here. The things you've all gone through and the utter lack of concern, care or responsibility people around you took to protect you all is just disgusting. *offers big, comforting hugs to everyone*

I've experienced my own. I was repeatedly sexually molested by a babysitter's son and a bunch of his teenage friends when I was 3 and a half years-old. Pretty sure the babysitter knew about it but did nothing to protect me. As a result of the molestation, I acted out my abuse by playing with dolls in a very sexual manner. It was a compulsion that I couldn't control - for years, I had my barbies and dolls acting out sexual acts that no child should know about in the detail that I knew and I compulsively drew pictures depicting sexual acts. When my mum found a bunch of these pictures one day when I was about 10 years-old, instead of being concerned about why I was drawing such pictures, she shouted at me and told me I was disgusting. I was grounded for drawing them. She never once thought to listen to me or to find out why I was drawing them.

When I was raped by a man I had met at a bar a few years ago, he raped me about 15 times in one night and his roommate (who, to my horror, was in the room with him) didn't stop him even when I was crying and telling the guy to stop. Instead, he laughed and came over to the bed I was being raped on and knelt over me and masturbated over my face.

When my grandparents were emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusing me, nobody else in my family paid any attention. They all took my grandparents' side and told me that I was the one causing all the problems. No one ever believed me when I tried to speak up about how I was being treated. I'd be ridiculed, mocked, belittled, made to feel like the worst person on earth just for trying to stand up for myself.

 

[Lionheart]

I didn't mention this before, but there was a neighbor girl who knew about the abuse and did nothing...it was her boyfriend that was abusing me and she said nothing. When years later, I asked her why she remained silent, she cut off all contact with me.

My mother even suspected abuse as early as age 5, but when she told, she was 'shut down' by relatives who told her "it sounded like something someone had made up." No one believed her.

So there was a police detective, a neighbor, and even my mother who knew or suspected abuse, but no one would listen and as a result I continued to be abused until I was 16 years old. To my mind, that's 11 years of abuse that didn't have to happen. Am I angry about this?...no, not anymore, but I am deeply saddened by it.

 

[shoulderblades]

There's a fantastic quote that rings absolutely true to this whole discussion:

"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." (Desmond Tutu)

 

[Misul]

I agree with that quote.

My system of belief is that most people simply don't care about anyone but themselves. Not every single person, but most of them. A lot of people who have never been abused agree with this, too so I don't think it's completely untrue.

I know there are good people out there, but they are rare. I made the choice to be a good person. There is no way I want to bring an ounce more of darkness into the world. I don't understand how adults can blame a child for their problems or even think a child can do something like cause cancer. I don't even care for kids, but I do know that they are an innocent party, like a cat or dog. How anyone could be so terrible to kids is beyond me.

People should stop having "oops" children and start planning pregnancy. Children should be brought into this world only when they are wanted, completely loved, and the parents have the means to care for them. But, I'm afraid I'm an idealist and this is probably asking too much. Oh, and if someone is expecting, mandatory parenting/child psych classes.

/end rant