Ptsd From Car Accidents

[Chelsea]

Lately I have been thinking about how my PTSD came to be.

When I was 18, I was in a very serious car accident. I didn't show signs of PTSD right after the accident, but two weeks later I was sleeping through class, sometimes sleeping in my car on campus, losing faith in humanity, and shutting down. I thought all these things were because of how physically hurt I was from the accident.

Fast forward to 2008, the day I proclaimed to my husband that I was feeling pretty good physically. He was taking me to work and we got in another accident. I immediately felt all the feelings come to the surface that I had been trying to hard to ignore and suppress.

Fast forward to August 2010 when I just couldn't take the flashbacks, the anger, the hatred, the hurt, the lack of support, the shame, the guilt, the "what-ifs", and the apathy for all mankind. I met my saving grace in a therapist at school. She has helped me through so much of the symptoms, but sometimes I still wonder "Why me?" and "Will this really ever go away" and "PTSD from a car accident, really?".

Are there any others out there with a similar experience? I still can't bring myself to drive the exact route of the second car accident and wonder if I ever will get rid of these demons completely... I came to this forum because I still can't find a solid support system from my family and I won't be able to see my therapist past December.

 

[wcdean]

You just spelled out the last 14 years of my life. I completely relate and understand; it's a tough road and one which I am still walking. You are most definitely not alone and there is a wonderful support network here.

EDIT - sorry about the delayed response; I have just returned to work this past week after being out on disability for my PTSD. Send me a message if you like to chat provately or I can check back more often now that I am getting resettled (sort of).

 

[Arctic]

Hi there,
PTSD from a car accident. Yes, that's what my trauma is from. Hang in there Chelsea. I deal with post MVA pain, along with complications from the insurance company dealing with things, and then PTSD and anxiety attacks on top of it.

Your car insurance (or the person who caused th accident) should be paying for some solid counselling for ya. you need to find someone who deals with MVAs and PTSD. It was a big eye opener for me that I wasn't the only one who has ever been in a car accident, who feels this way about certain things. Avoiding your accident route is a big thing. It's normal. I avoid the intersection where my accident happend too. Avoision is a big thing we do as PTSDers. I tell my T a lot I'm good at avoiding things. I'm in the process of realising that a LOT of these things lessen over time with exposure. It's been a rough road in some points, but it is one day at a time.

Take care of you,

-Arctic

 

[Pennyroyal]

My PTSD came from a car-related incident but not an accident. A car driver deliberately drove at me, up a kerb and over a path and, luckily for me, must have changed his mind at the last minute otherwise I was being run into a house!!

He's now in prison and has a 2 year driving ban and I thought once he was sent to jail I would feel easier but I don't really. I get flashbacks, I keep thinking "why me?" and I worry endlessly about what IF he had killed me. Who would look after those I left behind. I have also developed fears of being out on my own and I don't like being in situations which I cannot control.

I have also developed what I believe is claustrophobia and cannot lock doors in, say, public toilets in case I get trapped. I also need to know where my escape routes are in shopping centres etc. I hate the sound of revving cars and burning tyres - they bring it all back. I cannot bring myself to cross the road where this happened either. I just want to blank it out.

 

[wcdean]

I have a thread about my journey back to the scene. I have been on disability for the last 6-7 weeks due to major depression, severe anxiety, and survivor guilt. I self medicated for many years thinking that if I could make it "X" number of years I would forget about it, that time would heal everything, but once I stopped running from the truth and once I stopped self medicating I realized I was emotionally crippled. So yes it makes complete sense and I don't know if the "why's" or "what if's" will ever truly subside 100%, but you have to face your fears head on. Then and only then do I believe that you will find peace with yourself and with this disorder. For me it was returning to the scene and visiting the other driver's grave site, something I certainly didn't want to do but something I felt I had to do. Since then I seem to have learned to be a little less hard on myself and actually let the real me come out of hiding. It's still a long road ahead for me but it is improving. Just take it one day at a time.

 

[Arctic]

wcdean, I have head and i thank you for your honesty about being here. you hang in there too. one day at a time is right. I have to revisit my accident "intersection" at some point too... in the next few months (not there yet...)

 

[wcdean]

Take some support with you (physical support not just us here wishing you well). It was very debilitating for me and I don't know if I could have done it without my wife there to help me. It was very hard indeed, but shows the ultimate idea of wanting to overcome what has obviously affected everyone in this thread. Stay strong Chelsea, Arctic, and Pennyroyal. We'll all get through this in our own way, in our own time, by our own path, but together none the less.

 

[Pennyroyal]

Some interesting comments. Thanks.

 

[You can get through it]

I was cut out of a car wreck caused by a lunatic driver coming in the opposite direction and was quite badly injured. It took a long time to get my head back together and deal with the symptoms but it is achievable, just be patient with yourself and talk it out with people you feel able to trust.

Steve