Ptsd Has Raised His Dirty Head Again!

[Kenneth]

What is that keeps me from getting a handle on this Anger and trust issues. I see potentiel problems before they are even problems. It is pushing my wife and children farther away from me everyday.I feel that my wife thinks that I am a crazy mad man and use PTSD as a crutch. Any who can relate? I want to control my teenagers lives to the second because I cant trust them to do the right thing and feel they are ignorant to the real dangers of the world because I have seen the worst in humanity.

 

[Squirt]

Hey Kenneth, I completely understand what you're saying about seeing the worst in humanity. Im sure your wife doesn't think you're using it as a crutch its just hard for them sometimes because they don't know whats going on in your head and have no idea about how to help you. She probably just feels helpless and frustrated that she cant do anything to make it better for you. As for seeing problems before they arise, isn't that what we are trained to do? Prepare for the worst case scenario. Everyone here is super helpful and im sure you will get some sound advice. The best piece i think i have heard is just to take it one day at a time.

 

[Kenneth]

Tanks squirt, itr is a great site

 

[IraqVet86]

Welcome Kenneth.
Sounds to me like we are all stuck in the same set of problems,, you are NOT alone here. I recently joined this site as well and can tell you these guys can help you, if even in small ways. I have recently talked my wife into reading a little literature about PTSD. Namely, this site's sister site and Col. Grossman's book: On Killing. Not sure if it is helping yet but it cant hurt.

 

[Fargo1]

Welcome Kenneth,

I already responded a bit to your other post regarding hypervigilence. Since IraqVet started mentioning books, one that I found to be a good resource for family members and friends is Dead Link Removed by Karl Marlantes. Hang in there brother!

 

[Jimmy1]

Kenneth,

First of all welcome to the forum.

I want to control my teenagers lives to the second because I cant trust them to do the right thing and feel they are ignorant to the real dangers of the world because I have seen the worst in humanity.

This is the main cause of all our problems, control. My 19 year old step daughter has just left home, and I now live with a 17 yr old girl, and two boys 15 and 13 yrs old.
As I am learning, teenagers always push the boundaries, its normal for them to that, they have to otherwise they won't learn. They also have to learn by mistakes that they make, they won't learn from our lectures.
Trust is a problem with teenagers as they do lie to us, once again its a just a part of growing up.

The main problem is CONTROL.

As we sometimes cannot control our own minds, then our automatic response is to try and control our surroundings and those closest to us. It's natural, but we have to learn to let go.
Now with children, we have to give them some freedom and let them go, after all, they are not living in down town Baghdad, or Kandahar. Yes be protective, but you have to learn life's lessons for themselves or else they will end up rebelling against it.
The 19 year old step daughter who recently left home used to live like a pig, and argue about everything. Honestly, she used to piss me off every day. But now that she has moved out, she is such a nice person, and you know what, her home is spotless.

Kenneth, it also sounds like you need to maybe revisit your medication or go and see a therapist, it will really help.
I would also check out what else is going on in your mind. Is there an anniversary of something important coming up or something like that, that is usually what causes the beast to rear its ugly head, or maybe it just is.

 

[tho9900]

Jimmy and the others said it all... so I will just say welcome aboard brother... we all know the pain... but it gets better with having people to talk to that understand...

 

[Sarg]

Welcome Kenneth, you'll find help here. The important thing is that you are reaching out. That's the road to healing.

Sarg

 

[JarHed]

Hey Kenneth

Welcome to the forums. Glad you found us, I always say this and it's true. We do understand where you're coming from. You've taken the first step on the road, as Sarg would say, to healing. Again, Welcome.

JarHed

 

[JennyMac]

You are going to be ok. Are you seeing a Doctor? how about meds? I know it's not the total solution but it can help take the edge off...and stop the negative self talk, negative thought patterns.

I used to think my Husband was cheating on me (never in a million years) and that he was going to leave me...that he didn't understand me and he didn't care....and all kinds of other things...I am finally able to talk to my son again...still can't talk to my mom or dad...again negative thinking is preventing that for me but I am working on it..that was the depression talking...

depression is that son of a bitch that holds PTSDs hand when they visit me. See someone, talk to someone...don't give up. One day at a time. As someone who helped bring me back from a dark place said...today is a new day.

 

[JarHed]

depression is that son of a bitch that holds PTSDs hand when they visit

Very true Jen

It also makes our thinking at unclear. Makes us avoid that which we shouldn't and all that stuff. I do know also that when you think something is so it's easier to convince yourself of it. Just gotta' get through today. Tomorrow's a new day as well.

Jar

 

[G Stuart]

Welcome Kenneth,
I know how you're feeling. My (soon to be ex) wife is prior military, but never deployed. She just cant understand and thinks I'm using it as a crutch too. Shoot, i dont understand.
I'm pretty sure everyone on here is the kind of guy that took everything that was thrown at them for a long time and never blinked. Then, one day it hits and you are no longer completely in control of everything.
I just wish I could stop my damned hand from shaking. It freaks people out.