Relationship Ptsd Meets Codependency, They Have A Baby.... Dun Dun Dun. Now What?

[Deleted member 1860]

<edited/issue already addressed>

Apparently everyone else was so focused on the PTSD thing that the alcoholic thing was overlooked initially. My replies are based on the alcoholic bit, not the PTSD.

 

[Abstract]

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I think we all agree that his coming and going are very damaging for the child SOL. And that everything possible should be done to stop it. Whatever works best for the circumstances and is most likely to make the environment safest for the child and the least abandoning. With the safety issue taking big precedence as she is better off without contact if that is an issue.

My comments were in relation to how attempting to change his patterns would happen - what would be done to make it occur - and what those that were answering had in their minds in regards to that. It could have been perceived that people were thinking that Liv could just decide what she wanted to implement and do it. There was much talk that implied that he should not be in the childs life. And it was not clear how anyone thought that would be implemented. That is what it was reading like but I thought there was a possibility that others were aware that the way that these things would be implemented would not just be about Liv's preferences. And that is what the debate was about. That that would not be possible without legal involvement and if people were taking that into account or not. And in the mix it seems it was understood as peoples personal beliefs that the guy is doing no wrong. And of course boundary setting would be essential regardless and we all agree on that.

But I suspect the nuances of what I meant are never going to be understood so hey ho. :) And I should shut up.

Knowing more about his behaviour (really if it is related to PTSD or not is other than the point I think), his alcohol habits and the people that he is living with and therefore environment, I think supervised visitation sounds essential and that does mean legal proceedings.

 

[Springer80]

Hi Livy's Mum,

I hope your feeling okay today? That's a lot of stuff to consider and it must be hard remembering the loss of your Dad and wondering about how your relationship works.

I'm sure everyone's thinking of you and sending good thoughts...:hug: