Undiagnosed Ptsd Mother = Secondary Trauma (me)

[Tanishq]

Hi waub.c, Welcome to the forums. I wish you best luck in your healing journey. Yes, I second those thoughts of getting diagnosis from professionals. :)

 

[SabrinaB]

Welcome to the forum and hoping you find the assistance and support you need!

 

[Born to Run]

a ptsd parent can cause secondary trauma in a child

Hi welcome first. I just wanted to make you aware that a ptsd parent can cause ptsd in the child too, not secondary ptsd only.

even before you were born in the wound of your mother you re limbic circuit began to develop there

There is a real interesting thread with article on this topic. I will look it up for you.

I am Dutch, but live in Switzerland. Do you speak Flemish or Dutch? I know it is the same, still some phrases are not. With regard to the English language, why not have Google Translate open, when you post here. I use it a lot when I have to write in German, and it is easy as you can just switch between tabs in your browser. Just a small tip; the 'ik' in Dutch is always capital (hoofdletter) 'I' in English. I have a borderline/cptsd mother too, and the word love for her would be an impossibility. She is an emotional terrorist and in therapy I always call her the monster. The book Stop Walking on Eggshells by Mason&Kruger I found very helpful, but maybe you have already heard of it.

 

[fellowsufferer]

@Born to Run. Yes, i speak flemish. Thanks for the tip to use Google Translate. Also i'am very interested in the tread regarding the impact of trauma, on the developmental level (and biology), when in the womb of the mother. I've read the book: stop walking on eggshells, i still try to use the tips regarding setting boundaries, when dealing with my mother. Because it's so emotional draining when dealing with her. At this moment, i am trying to learn more on complex trauma, i find this forum and some books helpfull in understanding my symptoms and treatment options. But i feel i still need therapy, to help me to make the changes i want to make. You've got great insights regarding this, i like reading you're posts, i find comfort on this forum!

 

[Chava]

I've heard of this, but it's not an actual diagnosis....I believe part of the issue is that it might not be fully descriptive of our personal experience. I can very well relate because of some of the stuff with my mom (CSA survivor who seemed triggered by me...maybe because I reminded her of herself too much). She also thought I was "disgusting", which looking back as an adult, seems like a projection of her own feelings. Her rage was also dumped on me. But secondary PTSD still gives her too much credit. Like @Born to Run noted, you could just have PTSD (from this connection) which would give you your own symptoms and more clear treatment. Or attachment issues or depression, etc...since it would span your childhood the possible symptoms or diagnosis are somewhat broad. You might also look into developmental trauma. Laurence Heller writes a lot about this.

I have C-PTSD...lifetime, but most impact likely very early childhood, so I relate well to developmental trauma descriptions and a lot of my work in therapy is related to approaches for early trauma. I have some body memories and frozen states, but the daily theme is basic regulation but also attachment or connection with others.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

If you go with "secondary trauma" then many of us have tertiary trauma and so on and so forth. Trauma is trauma is trauma is trauma. It doesn't mater what the diagnosis is of the person who traumatized you, its still PTSD if you have a criterion A trauma. Your healing may be a bit different than someone who was traumatized in a bad car accident, but its the same with any two different types of trauma.

I think secondary trauma gives PTSD a bad name, period. It gives the impression that we're all horrible people who go out there and traumatize others, when nothing could be further from the truth. JMHO.

And, if you haven't been traumatized but are taking on the PTSD traits of a parent or caregiver, then its not "secondary trauma" in that there was no trauma....rather, it fits within another mental illness. Thus, you either qualify for PTSD with a criterion A trauma, or it isn't PTSD. "Secondary trauma" is a grey area at best and not an official diagnosis.

 

[Born to Run]

Also i'am very interested in the tread regarding the impact of trauma, on the developmental level (and biology), when in the womb of the mother.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/intrauterine-and-birthing-trauma-frank-lake-md.51683/

I will always remember this thread, because of the article that had the term 'marinated in mother's miseries' in the womb, and just loved that term :-)

Thank you for your nice compliment; coming from a similar background will make someone's posts resonate more I suppose. I hope you will find a good trauma therapist, take time to do some research, and don't go with someone, who does not know about trauma. Please feel free to PM me if you ever would like to ask me something about the borderline disaster :eek::banghead: