General Ptsd Sufferers Cant Feel The Love Emotion?

[May1321]

(((((MsPositive40)))))

 

[MsPositive40]

;) THANK YOU... ***MAY1321*** :tup:

 

[MsPositive40]

How do I change my mood in my profile?

 

[May1321]

It came as a part of a donation to the site. You have to go under the tab DONATE, I believe :)

And you are most welcome. Just keep loving yourself :) :tup:

<Quote above reply removed by amethist>

 

[MsPositive40]

Thanks! I have so much love for myself and to give, I only wish my Ex could see that!

 

[Anna]

What is love? There are so many different types. Romantic love, unrequited love, compassion, unconditional love etc etc...

I love my children unconditionally. I would do anything for them. My problem lies with loving people in relationships. Romantic love so to speak. I love my best friend more than I would ever love a romantic partner. She is like my sister. We have a special bond. We have been through so much together it would make us inseparable.

So yes, I can feel love, but not towards a romantic partner. That bond just doesn't seem to happen anymore. It has done in the past, but after so much damage.... It just doesn't "click"

 

[Burke]

Prettysmile - I am a sufferer who is on the other side of the relationship you describe with your boyfriend. I HATE not being able to give my husband what he needs. At the moment, I find it difficult to even hug him. He is a great guy who has stood by me. I do care about him. I don't want to lose him, but I feel numb right now.

The only thing I can tell him is that the best thing he can do for me is give me the space I need to deal with what I am experiencing in therapy. I figured out, with some help from my therapist, that I cannot work on my relationship issues and the issues that brought on my PTSD at the same time. As selfish as it sounds, I need to concentrate on me for awhile and hold on to the hope that if I fix me, it will help my relationship.

At times, my husband has pushed me on the relationship issues. I can't blame him for doing this. I wish I could control my feelings and react normally to his embrace or his touch. When he pushes the issue, it pushes me further away from him. This is not a choice I make. It just happens.

I don't have any answers for you, but I did take comfort in amethist's post. While emotional numbness does have its advantages (no risk of getting hurt), it also has disadvantages.

 

[Prettysmile]

Thanks Burke, you did help alot. I like hearing from suffers because who better could answer these questions than the person going through it themselves. What you said makes sense. I posted this thread weeks ago and since then my marine and I have broken up for now because he said exactly what you pretty much said. He says he is not ready to be in a relationship. He thinks I deserve better. And that he cant be with anyone while he is getting therapy. I think I frustrates him because I do get it and I do understand. But whenever we try this whole idea of us "just being friends" I still expect the same treatment as he did when I was his girlfriend and prior to him going to combat. I do this without realizing. Then it ends in me feeling disapointed and him feeling guilty. Its just not easy. But I am still here for him if he needs me.

 

[newbie2011]

Burke your post is really enlightening, thank you, it's easier to understand how the condition affects a sufferer and how it makes them feel when spoken by a person with the condition.

Prettysmile I understand how you are feeling - I've been like you, I've found it hard to go from girlfriend to friend and to drop the expectations and I have ended up feeling disappointed. My ex who's a marine too is going through intensive therapy at the moment and has totally withdrawn and disappeared and seems to have got worse (I think they get worse before they get better with therapy?) I've had to let go because I couldn't do right for doing wrong.

 

[TLight]

I know I love my husband, but many times I can't seem to feel it, but I definately most always act it.

The act is so much more genuine..Love is in action, and I act loving and it is never hard. Sometimes, however, I just don't feel it. Welcome to PTSD.

 

[melody]

I've suffered with emotional numbness throughout my life. I don't think it's that those emotions are no longer there. It's just that the traumas you endure cause you to create this armour around them so you can survive. Out of all the emotions you can feel, love is the one that renders you the most vulnerable, so it can be terrifying to even consider feeling those emotions. It's a protective/survival defense to kill that sensation the second it appears.

Can I ever relate to that! I have trouble showing love or affection because it was misconstrued (for lack of a better word) while I was growing up. I continually ask myself why my husband is being so nice - is it because he's setting me up? Or is it that he truly loves me? And deep in my heart I know he truly loves me, and is not going to hurt me, but I still have to go through the motions, and kind of wake myself up in order to show love back. I continually need to remind myself that he's not the enemy and that he truly loves me. He is my rock, he is my partner, and he is my carer and even though I have trouble showing him, I love him more than life itself. And I believe with all my heart, that I will be able to show him one day how much he truly means to me. :)

 

[Prettysmile]

The act is so much more genuine..Love is in action, and I act loving and it is never hard

Tlight thank you for this. I never thought of it this way. Yes My ex does ACT like he loves me whenever were together. Thats whats most important. But before I knew anything about PTSD my reaction to him was he is not being geniune. He doesnt really love me. I didnt understand when he use to say to me over and over " I know I love you I just cant feel it". noooowww I get it. I so get it now.