Ptsd Therapy And Aa Conflict

[robbbbbb98]

Has anyone had conflict with AA recovery and the therapy they went through for their PTSD?

I am upset as I feel misunderstood. My sponsor does not seem to think my therapy or trying to work through things in my past has any benefit. He blames a slip I had on the fact that I explored my past with my therapist after suppressing it my entire life. And his feelings are that I wanted something to blame so I could slip.

He also stated his sponsor has PTSD and remained sober after his tragic experiences overseas. This hurt my feelings; it felt like he was saying I was a failure. He states I need to read more Emmet Fox etc. and realize the only solution is a spiritual one not therapy.

<Edited to correct font>

 

[becvan]

Yes I have had similar issues. I fired the sponsor. Sounds like you might want to consider the same option. A sponsor is someone who helps you in your recovery process, that includes you going to therapy for PTSD. A good sponsor would be supportive of you dealing with your other issues also, as this is a benefit to sobriety.

Remember that AA is full of sick people. Just a number of years sober does not make a person well. Many people sponsor that are not realy well enough to yet. I would figure out a better fit. Perhaps sit down and figure out what your looking for in a sponsor and need from one and go from there.

Best of luck!
Bec

 

[TLight]

I TOTALLY agree with Bec.

I was in AA for awhile, although I don't consider myself an alcoholic, in fact I hardly drink. I was there cause I didn't know where else to go and there were a lot of women there who were SA survivors. I never introduced myself as an alcholic, but that I had PTSD and went to open meetings. This likely offended the 'tribe', but whatever.

I meet several women there who were like me and also had trouble with alcohol. One woman, who was older, had a sponsor who essentially verbally abused her constantly. Blamed her, etc. I got to know her and her story, horrible childhood, drugged, raped, held at gun point. on and on. So here she is, once again, being bullied, blamed, and abused all over again from this guy who was supposedly an AA God. Whatever, ego maniac was stamped all over him.

AA is sick people trying to help sick people. I so agree with Bec. Be very careful, it can just be another form of us retraumatizing ourselves.

 

[The Albatross]

I can agree with firing your sponsor. But would remind you that your sponsor's primary objective is helping to to get and stay sober. I actually did not know I had PTSD when I got sober and was in the program. One of my temporary sponsors was a PTSD - she was a former police woman. I know that at times it was difficult for her to square up "the program" with meeting her competing mental health needs.

She took and was successful at maintaining an attitude based on the philosophy "AA specializes in sobriety and alcholism, my therapist specializes in dealing with my mental health". Doubtless this lead to some differences of opinion from some in the group, but basically her recovery was her own. Your recovery is your own.

I was program. I have had improvement based on the steps even for some of my mental/emotional traumas... but I still needed outside help. Perhaps you do too and that is a-okay. Vary up your meetings if there are several in your area... and sponsor shop. Or you can have a candid and honest discussion with the sponsor you have and take a risk. No one can know what the results can be. But whatever happens, I have found that AA was very good at dealing with the reasons I drank. If I had not gotten sober and stopped dancing with booze, I would likely be dead. However, because it is aimed at arresting alcoholism... it has very little to offer those with PTSD or co-occuring/mental health disorders. It doesn't mean we are excluded. It just means that at the tables of AA we share or spend that time on alcoholism... and not on other stuff. The right professional for the problem I think they say.

 

[The Albatross]

AA is sick people trying to help sick people.

AA is recovering alcoholics who may have a variety of other issues of mental/emotional fitness who are trying to help people not die from alcoholism.

 

[goingonhope]

Lots of AA's know little to nothing of AA traditions. You might recommend he read, take seriously and put the many AA principles within these traditions, into practice so he can better represent and carry the AA message and not his degree of progress within the program, or lack thereof.

Has anyone had conflict with AA recovery and the therapy they went through for their PTSD?

Yes, and No.

Conflict yes due to me mistakenly believing that (people and/or long time AA's), opinions on outside issues like therapy must matter and must be more valuable then my own needs, insight, AA traditions and my experiences were.

No Conflict because later in reality I found that there isn't any conflicts between AA and therapy for Ptsd.

However you likely will find conflicts between people, there stuff and there personal willingness to attend perhaps necessary therapy for themselves. This stuff belongs to them, please don't let them sell it to you as AA message. Several yrs. down the road they may've gotten rid of such misguiding, generalized beliefs yet already succeeded in inadvertently passing such self-representing baggage along.

My sponsor does not seem to think my therapy or trying to work through things in my past has any benefit.

So that's what your sponsor thinks! :rolleyes:..:laugh:

We all got to think something I suppose whether it's true or false. Your therapy, likely doesn't have any direct benefits for him. :oops:

What do AA's often hear? Something like alcoholism is a self-centered disease, rooted in self. In an awful lot of cases it's our thinker that's gets us into trouble, nothing like letting our thinkers loose to spread dis-ease and confusion.

My question I'd like you to ask yourself, and then to trust. To whom does your therapy have little to no benefit? To him most likely, unless of course you start becoming compelled to choke the living sh't out of him. :laugh: And, to AA's primary purpose. But to you rob, it may matter very much.

He blames a slip I had on the fact that I explored my past with my therapist after suppressing it my entire life. And his feelings are that I wanted something to blame so I could slip.

Suggest he read again AA and toss blame from his vocabulary when it comes to alcoholism. Suggest he read that page that offers the number of excuses the alcoholic gives him/herself for taking that first drink after a period of time, ...and how none of these excuses hold up.

Hope he comes to the full understanding that the AA program is a day at a time program and that alcoholic mental insanity and obsession can (not necessarily will) but can return to any recovering alcoholic at any stage and time and therefore the AA recovery is a spiritual, vigilant, daily one.

It's rather bittersweet, stop to think about it, (ha' ha'). As it never ends and is a spiritual way of life not one of conversation. Discussion sometimes sure, but far more fruitful with sustained openmindedness, spiritual actions and growth.

What exactly this looks like now, along your journey and on down the road is only really between you and your HP.

Oh' and a therapuetic reminder to your sponsor, "Identify don't compare." So really whether his sponsor stayed sober after his tragic time at sea or not, it's none of our business, ...please rob, don't let him make it so.

I'm sure he means well, but even well or best intentioned people (perhaps me here :laugh:) can confuse the sh't out of each other, AA and ourselves.

Remember AA's are just people like ourselves. Not a single HP I've yet to meet breathing or walking around anywhere.

Take much care Rob please, as will I do my best too.

(((Hugs))) & Welcome to the Forum!

 

[robbbbbb98]

I had a long coversation with my sponsor this evening. I understand him better and he understands me better. But not only that your responses have helped me understand the totality of of situation that I felt.
Hugs are good thank you all!

 

[The Albatross]

Glad to read you had the conversation Robbbbbb... now hang on for some of that H. O. W. (honesty, willingness, and open mindedness) and best wishes for you on your recovery. I can say, it really can work if you work it.

 

[Hashi]

He states I need to read more Emmet Fox etc. and realize the only solution is a spiritual one not therapy.

<Edited to correct font>

I'm sorry you had this setback, and I admire you for the way you're posting about it and trying to deal with this whole situation. For myself, I know that uncovering past trauma has made dealing with addiction very difficult, but that's hardly surprising because it's the major cause of the addiction. Learning from the mistakes I've made around this has been an essential part of moving forward in healing both the addiction and the effects of the trauma.

I consider myself to have a spiritual approach to healing from both addiction and PTSD. I don't think there needs to be a conflict between this and therapy. In my view, a spiritual approach isn't just about higher consciousness, it involves a lot of footwork. Looking after your practical, mental and emotional life - in fact, learning to see how your spiritual beliefs are integral to these - is part of it.

A spiritual practice is not just things like reading, reflecting, meditating and praying. It's also taking care of yourself, allowing yourself to feel your pain and being honest with yourself - opening up to yourself through therapy is also opening up to your purpose and the meaning your find in life.

I like the way Marianne Williamson puts it - you can't just pour pink paint [= nice, spiritual ideas] over everything and ignore what's underneath.

I hope you can either resolve this with your sponsor or find a different sponsor who has more understanding. You deserve that.