Relationship Pursuing A Relationship With Someone Who Has Ptsd

[ladybird1234]

Hi there all,

I recently met an amazing person at a party, I had such a lovely time with him that I asked him out. He said yes and we went on a great date, just talking for hours. It was a connection unlike anything I've experienced before.

He told me straight up that he had been through a war, but that I shouldn't worry because he has had alot of counselling. Last time we went out he also said that he had PTSD from his experiences and that he had alot of trouble trying to trust women because of this and some other prior relationship difficulties.

I'm aware that this is a difficult disorder to live with and that it implies different challenges to a relationship to a non-PTSD affected person. I'm willing to stick around and see if those challenges can be dealt with.

My question is: how do I try and date someone with PTSD? I feel like if I push things too hard it will be a good excuse for him to dismiss my advances so he can avoid confronting his trust issues, etc. But I also feel like if I don't take the initiative in asking him out again, he might not try to instigate anything because he has been hurt before, and might (understandably) be apprehensive in starting anything that might end up in his abandonment.

To text, or not to text?

xxx

 

[amethist]

Hi

A light hearted text asking how he is doing wont hurt, but be careful of anything else for now. If he respond then good, if not you may have to let this one go.

Just be aware that if he has had a bad relationships in the past for what ever reason, he may well be holding back to protect himself.

 

[Dallas]

I had such a lovely time with him that I asked him out.

I also feel like if I don't take the initiative in asking him out again,

I am definitely old-fashioned and believe the guy should take the initiative in dating relationships-ptsd or not. If they are interested, you will know it!

When a woman chases a guy, it is demeaning to her and lowers her self-worth. Just because the guy has PTSD doesn't mean they don't know how to treat a woman with respect and ask her out on a proper date. You should want to be with someone who cherishes you and respects you in the same way God does.

Don't settle for scraps or beg for handouts!

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[NarcSis]

As a PTSD sufferer, I can say that in my experience with friends, if they don't contact me, I worry I did something wrong and I get depressed and angry and I isolate - even if they reach out to me, I'll reject them by not answering. I sit alone in my house lost in my fear/anxiety/depression/anger.

On the flip side, if I contact them and they don't reply immediately, the cycle starts almost immediately....anger, depression, fear, isolate.

It's all internally driven, for me, there's no way to predict how I'll react, it depends on how I'm coping that day.

I am female and males react differently but I'd like to think my reactions are generally human. I would like to add though, that if my friends just sent a text/email to check up on me once a week, even just to say Hi, it'd make me feel less alone in this world. Sorry if it's not much help.