Rant, Really Tired

[Ane]

...hey...axe throwing is FUN!
Tomahawks are way easier to throw than knives, and those of us who had shitty childhoods? We got repressed anger...
Which...depression can be a symptom of repressed anger, you know...

I was suicidally ideating, HARD, last week.

Today I am at least hopeful I will get part of my yard mowed, and I have a tentative plan to move forward with my life, even if it looks like climbing everest right now...the pill salad is kinda helping...going to DBSA and talking to a bunch of other really depressed people helped...we laughed at the crap, even.

Nobody can keep you here if you really, REALLY are intent on killing yourself...not even a psych ward.

I'm just of the opinion that there are less permanent ways to not be in pain. I could be wrong. But depression's statistically a pretty treatable problem.

 

[Unut]

Oop, that above is stickler again, no, feelings not hurt. I have been in the " no way in hell are you going to convince me life is not utter shit!" mode.

...Quite often in my teens and 20's. I know now it passes...at least for me. Usually, I think it passes for most people with severe depression.

 

[Lehofi]

Hi @Stickler thank you. You are funny and honest. I believe you, but I dont know if it's depressin, if that makes sense? :(

 

[Rujuh]

Stickler again...I use this and another depression inventory weekly now to measure and track how bad my depression is, so I can give my psychiatrist an objective measurement:

http://goldbergdepressiontest.com/

The Goldberg test seems to be pretty sensitive to fluctuations.

 

[Sogut]

Thank you very much. It looks like an excellent resource and I will try it. :hug:

 

[Sozut]

I hear you. I feel the same. Also decades. Tired. No words of advice here, just, I'm with you.

 

[Nomap]

Thank you sozut. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not glad for you, but your words do help.

 

[Amefe]

I think tiredness has =a lot to do with it. Too weary, too depleted to fight it. So I guess no alternative but to try to rest.

 

[Iwu]

Actually not a rant , just the truth. Hiding the abuse, hiding the rest, hiding it all. Night after night, no way out.

 

[Kurero]

I wish I would die to just get out, to make it stop.

 

[Edot]

Me too - got nothing, decades of abuse.
Dancing helps. When I dance I don't need to find a reason to go on, I just feel ok to be alive despite all.
Should be more dark public places where people can dance and not care

 

[Piva]

That's right! I do too.

Hug to you.