I guess I just need to get my feelings out in a safe place. I'm thankful I have THIS as a safe place.
I started therapy this week for my own issues. My sufferer is going through a medication change, and I'm afraid the new ones aren't working. He's been isolating, but he's at least been using social media as an outlet. Now, even that is becoming less frequent. I haven't heard from him in several days, but I refuse to pressure him even when I miss him. I'm learning how to work on myself while he is trying to deal. I make plans and stay busy; I refuse to sit around and dwell on everything. It's scary to think that this isolation could continue through another medicine change. But if that's what it takes for him to get well, then that's what's important.
I was sending him an encouraging text everyday, but now I have cut back on it and try to give him some days without contact in case he's overwhelmed, while still making it clear I'm not going anywhere. Sometimes with my anxiety, I get frustrated if my family won't leave me alone to process what's going on in my mind, or if they ask me lots of questions. I have a fear of making him feel that same way towards me. I don't ask him questions, and I try to keep messages short and sweet. It gets tiring wondering if I'm helping or hurting, without any feedback to know. I want him to know I'm here and that I care, without making him feel like I expect him to talk to me right now if he doesn't feel like it. It's difficult not hearing from him, but giving up is not an option for me right now.
Sometimes it just feels like a lot. It's hard to know where to put all these mixed emotions, which is where therapy comes in, and why I come here. When I get overwhelmed or feel worn down though, I just think about how much I care about this man, and how much he deserves. The isolation period is just hard, not hearing from him and not knowing how he is. It's difficult to remember not to take it personally at times, but it's just because I'm afraid I'm failing him in some way.
Regardless, I care too much to walk away, even when I feel overwhelmed or sad. Just feels good to get those feelings out among people who understand. If anyone has any thoughts on my ramblings, feel free to share. :unsure:
I started therapy this week for my own issues. My sufferer is going through a medication change, and I'm afraid the new ones aren't working. He's been isolating, but he's at least been using social media as an outlet. Now, even that is becoming less frequent. I haven't heard from him in several days, but I refuse to pressure him even when I miss him. I'm learning how to work on myself while he is trying to deal. I make plans and stay busy; I refuse to sit around and dwell on everything. It's scary to think that this isolation could continue through another medicine change. But if that's what it takes for him to get well, then that's what's important.
I was sending him an encouraging text everyday, but now I have cut back on it and try to give him some days without contact in case he's overwhelmed, while still making it clear I'm not going anywhere. Sometimes with my anxiety, I get frustrated if my family won't leave me alone to process what's going on in my mind, or if they ask me lots of questions. I have a fear of making him feel that same way towards me. I don't ask him questions, and I try to keep messages short and sweet. It gets tiring wondering if I'm helping or hurting, without any feedback to know. I want him to know I'm here and that I care, without making him feel like I expect him to talk to me right now if he doesn't feel like it. It's difficult not hearing from him, but giving up is not an option for me right now.
Sometimes it just feels like a lot. It's hard to know where to put all these mixed emotions, which is where therapy comes in, and why I come here. When I get overwhelmed or feel worn down though, I just think about how much I care about this man, and how much he deserves. The isolation period is just hard, not hearing from him and not knowing how he is. It's difficult to remember not to take it personally at times, but it's just because I'm afraid I'm failing him in some way.
Regardless, I care too much to walk away, even when I feel overwhelmed or sad. Just feels good to get those feelings out among people who understand. If anyone has any thoughts on my ramblings, feel free to share. :unsure:
