Reaching Out To Friends Is Selfish?

[Fadeaway]

I guess the big thing with this situation is that I don't have many friends and before I started hanging out with this particular social group, I had none. Not a single one. Every single person in my group of friends is also friends with this person. I have lived most of my life without friends due to the extreme social isolation I was raised in and then D.V. isolation and then self-imposed isolation for a large chunk of my adult life. So trying to learn how to make friends has come rather late in life.

Just to be clear the ex-friend who laid into me and told me I was selfish was not the woman who lost her baby but a mutual friend. I was sent an e-mail telling me that they were blocking my number and facebook so I can't talk to them. Another friend did the same because "they cared about the other person so much." others are very visibly angry at me. So this basically means that I am pretty much excluded from everything.

I was totally wrong when snapped at that person, but what they said to me negates any guilt I felt (which was a lot) for snapping at them.

I guess the question is will I ever have a true friend?

 

[Neverthesame]

Just to be clear the ex-friend who laid into me and told me I was selfish was not the woman who lost her baby but a mutual friend.

Actually, I wasn't as harsh as I would have been, specially for that reason. I could understand a grieving parent lashing out from the terrible greif they are certainly experiencing.

The fact that someone else entirely, used this to stir up drama towards you.

f*ck them, that's sick. That's really low. How pathetic do you have to be to do something like that and actually feel justified in any way?

I was totally wrong when snapped at that person, but what they said to me negates any guilt I felt (which was a lot) for snapping at them.

Couldn't agree more.
You could've keyed their car, I'd still say they got off too easy.

I guess the question is will I ever have a true friend?

Yes. I don't know when, or where. But it will happen. There are good people out there, there really are. You will find one.

Sounds like a stupid cheap platitude, but it's true. I wish I had something useful to tell you.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sounds kind of like a "mean girl" situation.

You're the new friend and when one of them perceives a slight, you're cut off from the whole group. (Quite immature IMHO.)

Maybe it would be best to form friendships on an individual basis for now as issues with one person will only mean issues with one person, and not with an entire group of people.

Also, in a group situation, if everyone else already knows one another, you will always be perceived as the newbie, the one who can be let go. I think most groups would favor keeping the group together and as such if a newer person causes problems or it's even perceived that the newer person is creating problems (but it's not necessarily true), it's always going to be the new person who has to go. It sucks, but group dynamics get learned in school and unfortunately tend to dominate adult situations too. :(