Reeling from events

[Grateful]

“Some thought processes need to be broken”

“Maybe we all need to write some new rules for ourselves or each other, I dont know if that is a thread already.”

“we never know what odd assemblage of words could help another person.“

Finding help is hard when trusting has hurt so much in the past isn’t it. I get that.

I found the most helpful of ‘official’ support has come from the third sector. For some people that’s just a little softer and full of lived experience, so perhaps less judgemental I guess. I don’t know.

There are also some highly intelligent, empathic and compassionate therapists out there through the usual channels, no doubt. Arguably, many people I’ve met have found those to be valuble beyond words. That’s not my experience apart from the occasional and often under-appreciated GP, but that’s okay. It is what it is and will happen when it’s supposed to. I have no crystal ball to know more than that.

Until then I look for the next right thing to do today and today only. And if that is fuelled by anger or fear I need to pause and think again before proceeding. I get it wrong so often but when I get it right the world around me seems just that little bit kinder.

“we never know what odd assemblage of words could help another person.“ - this new and wonderful phrase has made my day - thank you

Style…well…. um… strong
able, withstanding weathers
yet, with suggestion, dare promise
collecting, reassembling, reordering,
scattered heaps of tethered tangled words
creating a world of verse
within which to sail free
sitting safely inside of

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

How are you grateful? Nice to see your words!

My help... understanding does not seem possible with any, literally because they do not want or do not care to.

What is the third sector? I try to keep my head up and looking forward, trying to heal enough so I can do something.

Style…well…. um… strong
able, withstanding weathers
yet, with suggestion, dare promise
collecting, reassembling, reordering,
scattered heaps of tethered tangled words
creating a world of verse
within which to sail free
sitting safely inside of

I like this, your words make me think, feel. Is it about you? Finding some freedom within your words?

 

[Grateful]

How are you grateful? Nice to see your words!

My help... understanding does not seem possible with any, literally because they do not want or do not care to.

What is the third sector? I try to keep my head up and looking forward, trying to heal enough so I can do something.



I like this, your words make me think, feel. Is it about you? Finding some freedom within your words?

Hello @WinnieThePoohChris,

Thanks for asking, been back in a ‘storm’ which takes all my focus, the rain and the wind let up and there’s a break in the clouds.

Understanding - I hope you find some here on this forum. I’m starting to. I feel that many people here care.

I’m not a betting person but if I were, I’d bet some work in supporting others outside this forum, perhaps as their work or passion. If that is true, (and it’s just guess), then maybe people who care will be outside this forum too.

I used to think I was so far from reach from anyone seeing I needed help I felt nothing was real and people were somehow on a ‘different plane’, so to speak. They couldn’t see me and I couldn’t reach them or didn’t want to because they frightened me. Either that or they didn’t want to see because if they did, they too would be damaged somehow. (I believe this is a ptsd symptom of derealisation?

Then some people from 3 different not fir profit organisations helped me start to believe I wasn’t completely unreachable and they built me (yes another metaphor) ‘bridge’ and gave me the choice to cross it. It took a very long time and it’s not hard to be the wrong side however now I know it’s possible, I know that if I need to I can contact any charity and there will most likely be compassion. Now I realise that caring people are everywhere online and offline providing I know where to look and where to stay away from.

Quoting from the Scottish government website:

“The third sector includes charities, social enterprises and community groups which deliver essential services, helps to improve people's wellbeing and contributes to economic growth.”

Basically, organisations driven by purpose rather than profit. E.g Samaritons or Mind (uk)

How are you today?

 

[Grateful]

I like this, your words make me think, feel. Is it about you? Finding some freedom within your words?

Oh… yeah - I guess… maybe… as they were being written… but once they are out they can mean anything… you asked about the spade. I was replying in my usual pretentiously childish manner of avoidance

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

Think many who suffer, tend to care, in the right time and place.

I am working to get myself in a better place right now, then looking to volunteer. Something I have tried before, but situation being what it was. Did not really allow for it.

Where to look and where to stay away from is quite important.

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

Oh… yeah - I guess… maybe… as they were being written… but once they are out they can mean anything… you asked about the spade. I was replying in my usual pretentiously childish manner of avoidance

Seems a little harsh on yourself.
Suppose everyone avoids, and can be pretentiously childish. Sometimes healthy, sometimes not?

Any words can mean anything depending on someone's perspective, think the original meaning is always important, always relevant. What someone attempts to convey.

Clarifying that, understanding, can add a flavour, tone, meaning or purpose to words.

 

[Grateful]

Seems a little harsh on yourself.
Suppose everyone avoids, and can be pretentiously childish. Sometimes healthy, sometimes not?

Any words can mean anything depending on someone's perspective, think the original meaning is always important, always relevant. What someone attempts to convey.

Clarifying that, understanding, can add a flavour, tone, meaning or purpose to words.

I agree.
It just kinda happens, is of its own entity. Expressing that which I cannot. Therefore explanation is beyond me. Meaning is what is read. When I’ve found out meanings to lyrics to some of my favorite songs, occasionally they have become spoiled. There’s usually context and this particular one was in response to your question about the style of the metaphorical spade. That poem describes it. I hope that makes sense. It’s usually just a bunch rhyming waffle made up on the spot.

Pretentious childishness, childish pretentiousness. An attempt at poking humour at my own avoidance. Either way is healthily or not depending on the day I suppose and yes probably everyone can be either at any given time.

 

[Grateful]

Think many who suffer, tend to care, in the right time and place.

I am working to get myself in a better place right now, then looking to volunteer.

I think they do too.

I like your plan. Mine is similar

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

question about the style of the metaphorical spade. That poem describes it. I hope that makes sense

Yes that does, thank you

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

Find myself missing various people.

Don't have anything to offer right now, not sure how and if it would be good or safe for any. With my mindset not sble to reach out, done too much of that i think. Different if reached out to maybe

Sometimes read my own post or someone else's, normally understand better, sometimes less. Perspective plays a big part, when hurt or hurting, perspective is very skewed.

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

No, I won't do that.
No, i did not do that.
No, you are wrong.
No, i dont want this.
No. no, no
How many does it take when one should be enough.

Reflecting on this and other statements, meaning of words, intent, thoughts, memories. Could be taken and applied differently, given different meaning or intent. Guess one of the ideas of keeping a trauma diary.

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

@Flutterby_ sorry for what you are going through and the pain you feel. Sorry too if I say the wrong thing, I'm going through my own and find the right words and phrasing hard at times.

50-70 people bullying you. They are terrible people, and you are not a bad person; they just took advantage of your sensitivity and vulnerable state. This is definitely not your fault; you didn't do anything wrong.

Hope that's OK to say. Good words for anyone that reads this and is suffering from others actions. Also with that many people the reason why may be beyond you, it may have been distorted so much it is hard to identify as something you have actually done. If someone you know tells you in a straight forward manner then that is something you can maybe deal with.

Otherwise, might be best to keep away from the bullying and work on healing. Take what you can from what I've said and this site, i mean to only provide some support if i can, apply how you can to heal.

Im not qualified and new to this site, someone with more experience will probably have some good words of wisdom for you. I wanted to say I hear, maybe provide some words that help.