Truthseeker I am really impressed. I need you as a coach. I can really relate to Barefoot in that I don't know what is best and don't handle things well in addition. I seem to have low mood....dont feel stressed...and want to stay in bed with my fatigue. Once I get going, I start feeling the stress to do more, so I don't have an answer.
Once I start, its like a diversion to (likely underlying stress) and I cant stop. I want to clean everything. However, most days I do the opposite and stay in bed a lot.
I know I need to find that balance. I think I feel displaced.
Barefoot I am struggling with both as well, and don't have a good answer, but you are not alone.
Thanks....The stress to do more things in life is good kind of stress. Stress from dysfunctional behaviors of others, crappy family, or dealing with unpleasantness of any kind is bad stress. They do two different things to your body. Good stress with follow-through builds confidence. Bad stress tears you down. So avoid all potential negative kinds of stress......and just do for you and self-reward.
Making a list to complete can be stressful because you know you have to plan and execute the list......and if you don't you'll feel like a failure. That's black and white thinking....it's dysfunctional. If you create a "doable list" with a positive mindset motivated to accomplish ........you will more likely succeed. So, accomplishing things is good stress....to start just plan 2 important tasks to accomplish your first day, and make sure you tell yourself you did a good job aloud when you finish..... (one in am, one in pm) and climb out of the bed and live elsewhere in the house.....on your couch is better than the bedroom (beds are for sleeping not living) + your self care (meds, eating, bathing/doing something to hair/brushing teeth), After you do your am task.....self-reward with a positive activity. If you don't know what makes you happy, think about things you've done before like dancing to music, watching a comedy show, drawing or painting, playing an instrument or listening to favorite music, riding to the park, going fishing for an hr or so....etc. The point is to pair a less desirable activity (e.g cleaning the kitchen) with something you can look forward to right after to take the focus off "how horrible cleaning the kitchen is-or whatever the task is that you are doing and not really wanting to do" and changing the feeling to one of enjoyment after doing it. Doing that does two things.....reduces one's dislike for the task.....and builds confidence in being able to complete undesirable tasks.....and makes us look at daily stuff we need to do in a different perspective. I always dislike "cleaning the kitchen" more when I'm having a bad week....I think things are "worse" when it's just my outlook at the time is worse.
I'm struggling this week, too. I call it going "back to basics" when I need to make a "3 things list." This method has kept me functional....when I'm feeling like I'd rather not do a darn thing but climb in bed. This past week, I had someone I love and care about pass away and my pet is dying and has....at best a few more days. I used to run to the comfort of my bed and remain there for days....sometimes weeks. So right now, the bed is singing to me, calling to me to just stay there and hang out.....but in the end, if I listen to the bed it only makes me feel worse for longer-then I think about all the things I "should have done"-and that's a negative cycle thing just compounds a bad week.
My three things for the day are to go get my fasting bloodwork (just did that at the dr's office-checked that off!) and got home and rewarded myself with an online game of canasta and won, go to lunch with a friend I haven't seen in quite a while (not real motivated to do this but I'll feel better once I'm there......and getting out and recounting old times hopefully will be fun) and then go get my Moderna shot at 2pm. I will have earned a nap after this ......because I didn't crawl into bed and give up at the beginning of the day-but I stayed functional under trying times. Then I'll finish my self-care for the day and my reward is planning a present to make for someone special for the holidays.
So, that's about me and my day.....what things do you need to accomplish and what kind of rewards would make you happy and distracted?
