Reluctant To Apply For Ssi/ssdi, Experiences Anyone?

[JustBe]

Doozer is 2.5 years old now and just starting to grow up a bit. He's finally potty trained (what a project THAT was!) and his attention span is a bit longer (like 3 seconds vs. 1 second)!

Both he and Kira are MAJOR snugglers and would Love to oblige you I'm sure;)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

So not cool that your girlfriend is telling people you have PTSD. That's a private thing, not up to anyone else but you to disclose. I'm not saying that it's a shameful thing, but there is stigma, and it doesn't help when people like Jodi Arias taint the disorder so the public think that ptsd'ers are homicidal maniacs.

 

[Tribulations]

The name Doozer reminds of that show Fraggle rock. Lol about the attention span. 2.5 years and his ears are still floppy? That is adorable! I know when our 2 chihuahuas and Kona (who is part, they all had the same father.) were young they would wake up and their ears would be floppy until they were fully awake lol. One of the chihuahuas died this year of kidney failure my dad was forced to put him down :(. The one that looks like Doozer is still alive though.

Scaredoflonely thank you for understanding. I am still pretty upset but know that 1) she had the best intentions and 2) she's learning how to handle this too. It isn't easy for either of us, but I can only imagine how hard it is for her to be my carer/supporter and looking from the outside in. Especially, since I was at a good point health wise when we met. I know she is doing her best and only wants the best but mistakes like that are still very upsetting. It makes me feel like I was put on stage and that my trust was betrayed if this makes sense. I still love and admire the fact she is trying her best with what she has though.

I know there is a stigma, because people don't understand it or learn about it. They just make their own assumptions for the most part. I will say however that when I went off on the woman upstairs I probably wasn't the poster child for ptsd. Granted I feel it was justified, and that my actions were less than theirs even though they try to make me seem crazy. I get called "The weirdo", but to be honest I'd rather be a weirdo than normal if that's how "normal" people behave.

How do you hide something that relates to how you react publicly/socially? I am trying to get ideas to relay to my girlfriend. We touched base on it some, but I don't want to leave her without a way to handle a situation like that.

 

[JustBe]

Yup! Doozer was so happy and busy as a puppy (and a doozie) that I named him for the Doozers in Fraggle Rock. His ears only were up for one day when he was about 6 months old. Now they only come up if he's digging peanut butter out of his Kong toy!

I'm sorry about your loss of one of your pups. That must have been very hard.

 

[Tribulations]

The Doozers were awesome in Fraggle rock, even now as adults my girlfriend and I will watch it lol! The name fits him perfectly then. Thanks, it was hard because I didn't get to say goodbye to him. He was more my dad's dog than mine but I grew up with him. It was rough because I found out through a phone call, my dad had called me right after. My eyes still well up some thinking about it, but he is in a better place now.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I didn't mean to insult your partner, as overall she sounds very supportive. I guess it's part of my own issue where I hate when someone tells another about my PTSD.

How do I hide it? Well, when things were really bad, I couldn't and didn't. Now I cope with things by walking away and removing myself from the situation. It took awhile to get to this point. At first I felt like I was running away from the issue, but that's not what's happening at all. I remove myself from whatever I'm doing so that I can calm down and control my anxiety. This is beneficial because I can take a "time out" from what is stressing me, and if I do have a freak out, at least I can do it in private or semi private. That way I don't get a bad rep for being "that mental girl". Everyone knows I need to take time outs and they're respectful of it. I've even told my instructors so they know if I walk out in the middle of class that its because of my anxiety, not because I'm taking a call or something like that. (My instructors know I deal with anxiety, not my PTSD diagnosis).

I hope this helps!

 

[Tribulations]

SoL I didn't take it as you insulting at all, sorry if I made it seem that way. I was just expressing how I felt was all. No worries.

Not so much hide it but more so, when do you let people know? If this makes any sense.

I try to avoid conflict as much as possible but do have a breaking point. Ironically avoiding conflict, brings conflicting feelings with it for me. Funny how things work sometimes lol.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I don't try to hide it. I come right out and say it. I guess I'm odd that way. I feel the more people who ask and get their questions answered, the more the knowledge gets out there. I know there is a huge stigma, but I was so relieved that I had PTSD, and I wasn't just "going crazy" that I told everyone I knew. At the time I was a case manager at the hospital. They took me to that hospital when I OD'd and so now of course all my ex-coworkers know I tried to kill myself. I will never work there again, but I don't want to.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm delaying telling people until I can trust them. Nobody at school knows aside from my advisor. My teachers know I struggle with anxiety. I made a new friend a few months ago and I waited a whole month (!) before telling him. He was understanding and doesn't hold it against me, thank goodness. Now I'm very guarded and wait to tell people, but I know it backfires on me because I don't look sick, I don't look mental. So when people ultimately find out that I'm on SSDI, they think I'm cheating the system. It sucks all around, but you find out who really cares about you and who is judgemental pretty quick. So my advice is to just stay guarded and only tell people once you have built up some trust.

 

[Tribulations]

I don't talk to people much anymore, I am very guarded aside from this site and some close friends. It takes a lot for me to trust someone, and I don't talk much about my past or anything like that until at least a year. I have been this way for a long time, I have acquaintances and friends. It takes a lot to become my friend face to face, but once I am friends with someone I am always there. I am very quiet and reserved in person believe it or not. So keeping information is not hard for me, because I don't share unless I absolutely have to or am ready.

My girlfriend on the other hand, not so much. She has always had a bad habit of sharing too much information, or not thinking about the things she says or does. We're going to have to work on that, we added it to our boundaries list so that's a start. I hate that there are so many rules/boundaries it makes the relationship feel rigid, and I feel guilty about it. Then again I guess to progress there has to be structure, as you can't build a house without foundation if you get my drift.

Update:
Application went through, the property manager asked for proof of income (paystub) and said she emailed the owner. So that's a semi good sign I think? I mean it sounds like a good thing. I just hope if the owner gets back to her, that they will just let us move in and not even show it again on Wednesday lol. I'm just kidding that's a mean thing to say/think. Ugh the wait is so hard, come on fast forward.

 

[Tribulations]

Update:
We woke up to an email from the owner, he asked us for a payment plan. Tomorrow is Wednesday, so I really hope we get this place. It looks hopeful, but tomorrow is one of the biggest hills to get over. The other hill is moving, I won't be on as often for the next week but will keep you all updated. Packing sucks but honestly I know packing means getting out of this slum so for once I really don't mind. Wish us luck.

 

[KP the nut]

I wish you well. Remember to allow yourself some down time.