I think you need to define "recovery" and "remission" for yourself.
To me, they are one and the same in the context of PTSD. Why? Trauma has changed us for life. We will never be the people we would have been without having been traumatized. We will always have a lower threshold for stress and trauma than the non-PTSD person, and as such, a relapse is likely if we become triggered or stressed.
You don't want any of your trauma, ie negelect or abuse to happen again, and hopefully it won't. But the truth of the matter is that something INCREDIBLY insignificant to most people can push us into full blown PTSD. I should know, it happened to me. Yes, my original trauma was huge, but the trigger, seemingly inconsequential, something that most people could brush off easily.
It sounds like you're not living in the present which is sort of the goal of PTSD treatment. Yes, many of us are stuck in the past (sort of the definition of PTSD), but for me, personally, one way I learned to cope was by living in the future. It sounds like you are doing a bit of that, and should focus more on fully living in the present moment. Its no longer the past that is troublesome so much, now its your future that's holding you back.
Why worry so much about the difference between full recovery and remission? Seems a bit pointless to me in that making the distinction between the two in NO way, shape, or form hinders your healing. That is, you can throw both terms out the window and pay them no heed, focusing on today and your healing, and get just as far, if not farther, than someone who gets caught up in the semantics of defining these two terms. And, in my way of thinking, this is indeed self sabotage. You're focusing so much on the unknowns of tomorrow rather than saying "eh, screw it, I'm gonna simply push myself as hard as I can to heal, and whatever happens, happens." Eh, this is sort of what I've done. I've been told by a number of people that I am simply not going to heal (much), that "recovery is not expected". If I listened to those voices, as you are "listening" to the DSM, then I would have given up a long time ago. Simply put, you're letting an imperfect manual define your healing. (Why should it?)
Oh, and one thing I would like to add.....every so often a new post pops up about someone touting how they've felt "sooo good" for a few weeks, or even a few months and claim to be "recovered". Nine times out of ten these people come back at a later point, devastated because they felt they were healed and the evil PTSD monster reared its head again. I think that in terms of PTSD, it can indeed be better to think in terms of remission instead of "healed" or "recovered" as with remission, one keeps it in the back of their mind that the PTSD could come roaring back, whereas with "recovered" one seems to be less likely to continue to use all of the skills and such that got them to that point. And when you have a relapse from "recovered" verses "in remission", it seems to be a bit more devastating to people. Instead of thinking "oh, this is a setback, I'll get through it again" the attitude seems to be more along the lines of "why me? I was healed! I thought I had this beaten!" (along with a lot of other statements along the lines of self-blame and such.)
