Repercussions of abusive ex partner

[EveHarrington]

It’s going to be ok. Keep pushing forward. I know you can make strides in your healing if you keep plugging away at it.

 

[anonymous]

Thanks for the reassurance Eve, and for the validation too, it really means a lot to me, that you said she sounds certifiable especially. The police even said that too. It's good to hear from someone else as well.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Thanks. She got the idea for setting people's houses on fire from an ex friend she had. He had lit so...

That is really horrible, she does sound psycho, to get "inspired" to set houses on fire, jeez! Being a conartist is one thing, not a good thing, but fire is a whole other thing. I wouldn't want to live anywhere in the vicinity of anyone like that either. Can you go for a walk with notebook and good music, sit in a cafe or park or somewhere and just spend few hours thinking? Try to figure out any ways you can chip away or improve the situation. Clearly you don't feel safe living there, understandably so, but if you are still there I presume you don't have other options currently? In my experience feeling safe in your own home is number 1 priority after having a home and being able to feel yourself...if I don't feel safe where I am it's hard to even think clearly or sleep well...it's not good. I'm sorry! I'm sure you're very well aware of all those things! I wish I could help more:/

 

[anonymous]

I know, it scared me when she told me about that. She only ever got caught for one thing she had done I think. There's loads of stuff she got away with doing. I even tried to get her to stop some of the things and that only made her mad so then I kept my mouth shut. Yeah I can do those things, thanks. I'm going to see someone soon who might be able to help a bit. I am struggling with sleep again tonight, I got 4 hours and was wakened, not sure what by but there was a noise outside, now can't get back to sleep.

I'm finding it really difficult to concentrate properly. I don't want to worry myself sick over this, I had started eating more healthily and was trying to get things back on track so i can enjoy life again and now this...I just want to disappear.

 

[BeekeeperGreg]

thank you both for your messages

I do feel worse now unfortunately, if that's even possible

I just...

Rethink the situation. At least you are alive. Let life take you where you need to go and trust all will be well. Believe that you will be helped and know that you will get it. Money is just money and your life force is so far more important than that, that is your true power and wealth, you just have to believe in it and live each new day as a new beginning

sounds like you were in the thralls of a psychopath, I have been where you are at the end running in the path of trains after 20 years of abuse

 

[anonymous]

Money is just money and your life force is so far more important than that, that is your true power and wealth

I totally agree with you here, I have learned this these last few years, my late twenties early thirties have been massively enlightening ones for me. I am just shit scared of being jailed even for a short time. I know I will survive though and I am free from being coerced into further crimes.

I am sorry you've experienced this too.

 

[EveHarrington]

Are you being charged?

 

[anonymous]

I don't know yet but I could potentially be.

 

[EveHarrington]

Do you have the resources to hire a lawyer?

 

[anonymous]

I guess I could get something like legal aid if it came to it.

 

[EveHarrington]

Is there any way you could cut a deal? Implicate your ex? Fill them in on her “crime spree”...?

 

[anonymous]

Yeah I have been thinking about that because she did coerce me into doing the thing and I would definitely tell them I'd been controlled by her for many years (the police and domestic abuse counsellor already know this and have records of it too). It would be a first offence also and no one was harmed by it. It was not done maliciously or whatever.