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Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

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So you know I have told my story before and felt like no one listened and they left me feeling alone and sad. What makes you think that if we actually form a connection that I'll be able to heal and go on with my life. If I tell you my inner most stories and spew all my emotions out to you and feel better then therapy will be done and I'll be left hanging again with a connection I tried to form and you go on with your life like I was another one of your clients. In my eyes you will be the only one who has listened to my story and understood me. Do you really know how much of an impact this has on me, cuz I can't just form a connection with people and then never talk to them again.
 
I'm a structure goal-oriented person, and a teacher, who wants to do well, even w therapy. My T is all about her intuition and timing.

1st Trauma Phase 1 to 2 discussion w T:
Me: (After a year and a half of therapy)Okay, I think I'm ready for phase 2. How does this work?
T: Yeah, I'm not sure you are ready.
Me: What do you mean? I set the date that I'd move to phase 2, I'm thinking I'm ready.
T: I just don't quite have that intuitive feeling I have that you are stable enough in phase 1 and ready for phase 2. It doesn't work in a linear fashion anyway. It's more circular.....flexible...and you've done some phase 2 work already, but you are working in phase 1 stabilization now.
Me: "Oh" (the only words I had for this let down).... and wanting to say: "What the fxck you mean I'm not stable, I'm plenty stable. You wanna see stable, my paranoia about stalking person in my life.....is so much better. And what's this intuition crap driving the bus in my therapy?
T: Yeah, and how are you feeling?
Me; Like a therapy loser.

2nd Trauma Phase 2 discussion w T:
Me: Okay, what's involved in phase 2? I think I got phase 1 safety and stabilization under control here....really, I think things are safe. Things are calmer, coming together, no real threats lately. How does one move to phase 2? Like what's involved?
T: Talking about it......
Me: "HUH?" Wanting to say: "Any short cuts? Doesn't that writing, poetry, and art I did qualify as like extra credit to get me through this phase of therapy faster?"
 
It has been 10 months since I last saw you and I still miss speaking to you.
I wonder if you ever think of me at all(even if it is just for a minute or two) or am I just part of your history.I wish I could tell you about everything that has happened in the last 10 months and all the secrets and lies I have discovered along my journey.
I am still struggling coming to terms to what has happened to me and all the memories.
I hope that you are well, that you are looking after yourself and that your back is ok.
 
Kinda funny - I just started brainspotting and one of my first thoughts when it started was "holy shit am I just gonna stare at that pointer and not say shit the whole session???"

Yep, pretty much. It worked though lol.
 
Yoo since when were Fridays the toughest day of the wee... nevermind. :D

Your scheduling is just cracking me up, hard.
But we are still not talking the borders stories, not enough jokes & not enough booze on hand.
But you were right, we could like, play poker. Your idea to bring me pie also gets a++ approval.
 
"You're hot!" Truely, a 60 something year old therapist that doesn't look a day older then 45 at most. And "if you weren't my therapist and single, I'd jump into bed with you in a second". Truely, a thought I've had many of times in therapy. Would never say those though.
 
So I just had a dream where I laid out everything I’ve been trying to say for 2 years, in 15 minutes, of clear & concise narrative. Lemme just repeat that for those of you who weren’t in my head while I was sleeping, so we can speed this bitch along, shall we?.

:cautious::shifty: Bwaaaahahahahaha Like I can even remember what I said. FFS :roflmao::hilarious:

f*ck f*ck f*ck.
 
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