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Revealed biggest secret to t but can’t cry!

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Funny how many of us have this in common. I cried for the first time in therapy on Thursday. Not a whole lot - but enough to count as crying. My T was trying very hard not to do a happy dance because it has taken me almost 4 years to get there.

They keep telling me that any type of reaction (crying, vomiting, shaking) is good - because it is cleaning out the bad and making room for the good. That's what I try to keep in my mind. Not the terror and embarrassment of crying, but that I am opening space in my soul for better things
 
@Searching4Self i have also gotten emotional release massage, but I just go numb. I guess that’s my reaction to anything remotely triggering. And I always feel trembly like just under my skin. Anxiety. Especially anticipating something. My t says the body holds my emotions, so he always asks me what are you feeling in your body, and I’m always saying I don’t feel my body. I am so split off from myself.
These symptoms we have are so ingrained in our psyche. Sometimes I wish I could just curl up and die I get so tired of the fear.
I’d like to come up with a challenge that whoever wants to join in, on anticipation and the racing thoughts of always waiting for the next blow.
 
@KwanYingirl one thing my emotional release massage therapist said that has helped me is when she is working on an area and something gets really tight or trembly she says, “What does your shoulder (for example) want to say? What is it trying to tell you?” Even if I don’t know, just her drawing my attention to that area helps me try to connect with a part of my body and sometimes it gets me talking about that connection. I found that connecting with individual parts helps me feel more connected than just thinking of my body as a whole.

@Searching4Self I’d like to come up with a challenge that whoever wants to join in, on anticipation and the racing thoughts of always waiting for the next blow.

I’m up for a challenge. What are you thinking of?
 
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