sweetcandy
Bronze Member
I ruined another friendship. I seem to push everyone away. I always sabotage relationships. This isn't the first time. I am so used to pushing people away either by ignoring them for long periods of time or having an outburst or episode. I cant get close to people. I feel like they will hurt me. I just don't trust anyone. I met one guy about two months ago who said he was trying to protect me but he came across as controlling to me. I got so uncomfortable that I had one of my episodes and pushed him away. What if his intentions were in my best interest? I am so used to ruining relationships that it doesn't even bother me anymore. It hurts but it's kind of normal...if you know what I mean. I wish I didn't ruin every friendship. However when I do ruin the friendship, I try everything to reconcile and ask for forgiveness that it pushes them away even further because I am too persistent. I wish I didn't sabotage every relationship.
