Same Old Shit

[Wagon]

[QUOTE
He picked up his PO2 apparently and threw him against a wall once because of something or other... I don't know... But he faced no consequences, apparently they just "learned not piss him off" and whoever intervened chalked it up to his PO2 riling him up and instigating the reaction.

I knew people like that in the Army. They didn't get free passes all the time if it kept happening, and they certainly didn't flourish.
][/QUOTE]

I thought about this more and think he's full of shit. You don't jack up someone and get off scott free. I'm sure there was some deck plate justice going on. I also don't think the Navy has changed so vastly in 24 years that they have changed the floating grey work camp system to the good ship lollypop.

How the ships generally work is through an anonymous low level non violent system of revenge that rolls up and down the ranks from the lowliest seaman up to the Captain. Keeps everyone from beating the shit out of each other and offers a tiny level of satisfaction to everyone. After all.....everyone knows where everyone else sleeps.

Hope it works out for you Raven. Kind of sounds like the honeymoon is over. Also note that moving is one of the most stressful civilian things one can through.

Peace

 

[Raven]

I don't know. They were pretty good friends besides that incident. He probably exaggerated it or something.

He did get into a lot of fights with people on his ship when they weren't on the ship, though.

ETA: I just asked about the incident, it apparently happened about a week before he got out anyway (because he was such a mental health mess, go figure) so I guess he just didn't give a flying f*ck anymore.

 

[Wagon]

Off the ship is a whole different story. Carried knives and brass knuckles out there.

 

[Friday]

How I taught myself to stop breaking things (and my hand, it's like there's a stud finder embedded, useful for hanging stuff, though...just aim a serious punch at the wall. Done. Studd is right there) might sound backwards:

- 1 pallet (yep. pallet. several hundred count) restaurant glassware
- 1 she'd or garage

Every time I wanted to break things? I did. I took me'self out to the corner of the garage and threw glasses until I was done.

In time, it actually did a pretty sweet job of emotional monitoring & regulation. Since I had to remove myself from the situation, go somewhere specific, and THEN get relief from it... It started out with a smidge of distance. Then recognizing early warning signs. Then, eventually, just breathing and being able to get the relief from imagining the sound of broken glass.

Don't know if it will work for your beaux or not.

...

As a suggestion; if he only throws fits at home, in my experience that's probably because of his family being heavy handed. IE, he learned it's okay to freak the f*ck out & cause pain to those he loves when mad, but to keep his shit together in public with strangers. That takes a helluva a long time to relearn. Backwards priorities. Don't treat strangers better than loved ones, and respect looks like this not that. And it's a totally different thing than learning how to take a timeout. It's a total perspective shift. On how family & home & sanctuary is "supposed" to look.

 

[Raven]

That's how I've always thought of it--that my husband cares more about what random strangers think of him than what I think of him, and it kind of hurts because I think his priorities are whack. Yes. His father did beat his ass a lot when he was growing up.

My father was a Marine. I remember several times that he lost his temper and took it out on inanimate objects--normally throwing something and it would break. I started to become frightened of him when I was around five years old because of his outbursts. He would come home from work and I would avoid him because I was scared he would fly into another rage. That's when he knew he needed help and he sought it. It's funny how I thought he was such a terrifying monster back then when it could have been much, much worse. But he credits me for having given him a reason to turn over a new leaf. However, he was never violent towards anyone or anything living. In fact, he always told me that if a man ever hit me I should tell him and he'd punch the bastard's teeth in and make him wish he was dead.

I still haven't told my dad because I know he'd do it.