Just curious if anyone has some advice. The more I take care of myself ie cleaning my home, cooking & eating healthy meals, turning off early and trying to keep a sleep schedule, the more f*cked up my brain gets. I'm to the point I'm physically exhausted but my brain won't shut the hell up. Caffeine used to help quiet things down but I've not had any in a year. Meditation makes the anxiety worse and I just get angry if I go watch tv. Gotta get up in four hours to go to work. May be taking uber again if I can't drive due to lack of coordination because my sleep is f*cked.
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Self Care = Major Anxiety
- Post starter Crow
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Renestel
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Hmmm. Well I'm taking both a shot in the dark mixed with my personal experiences, but here's some things to debate with yourself:
-were you so into caffeine in the past that you could still be going through what they say "withdrawls"? Caffeine at one point in my life was a very social and physical thing for me.
-getting angry with tv- oh wow you are singing my name when you say that. I hear you on that one. Try avoiding your triggers on tv. My husband always pushes me to watch things like walking dead, american horror story, etc, and yes they are GREAT shows! but I can't deal with that every day. I've had to learn that some days I need to say no. I get SO triggered on certain kill shows.
--sleep schedule- again Oh man. I bet I beat you in the problems with sleeping department. The thing I can offer you: don't focus on trying so hard to sleep that you don't sleep. On the days that I really need to work/do something the next day: melatonin is the elementary kid good pill, for hardcore I go for my prescribed muscle relaxers. But I don't do that more than once every month. Don't become a pill popper that is a WHOLE new problem.
-Meditation.........why is that making it worse? what is opening up when you are doing it? is something talking to you? That I wanna know more about if you are open to it.
ps, is " got the magic feather" from dumbo? If so, props. :)
-were you so into caffeine in the past that you could still be going through what they say "withdrawls"? Caffeine at one point in my life was a very social and physical thing for me.
-getting angry with tv- oh wow you are singing my name when you say that. I hear you on that one. Try avoiding your triggers on tv. My husband always pushes me to watch things like walking dead, american horror story, etc, and yes they are GREAT shows! but I can't deal with that every day. I've had to learn that some days I need to say no. I get SO triggered on certain kill shows.
--sleep schedule- again Oh man. I bet I beat you in the problems with sleeping department. The thing I can offer you: don't focus on trying so hard to sleep that you don't sleep. On the days that I really need to work/do something the next day: melatonin is the elementary kid good pill, for hardcore I go for my prescribed muscle relaxers. But I don't do that more than once every month. Don't become a pill popper that is a WHOLE new problem.
-Meditation.........why is that making it worse? what is opening up when you are doing it? is something talking to you? That I wanna know more about if you are open to it.
ps, is " got the magic feather" from dumbo? If so, props. :)
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It is from dumbo! Not many folks catch that.
Caffeine is so gone from my system. The withdraws took a good six months to fade. And man, I had some major withdraw the first three weeks. Don't want to repeat.
Melatonin doesn't work. I take cultated magnesium. Today I remember Jonesing for Xanax so that should have been a heads up. Been off that for 3 years.
Meditation can be very not settling. Just part of the high activation ptsd crap. Body thinks I'm in more danger or something like that. Gotta love the nervous system! It kept me alive! Doesn't know yet that um actually safe now. Hopefully it will get the memo soon.
Caffeine is so gone from my system. The withdraws took a good six months to fade. And man, I had some major withdraw the first three weeks. Don't want to repeat.
Melatonin doesn't work. I take cultated magnesium. Today I remember Jonesing for Xanax so that should have been a heads up. Been off that for 3 years.
Meditation can be very not settling. Just part of the high activation ptsd crap. Body thinks I'm in more danger or something like that. Gotta love the nervous system! It kept me alive! Doesn't know yet that um actually safe now. Hopefully it will get the memo soon.
Renestel
Silver Member
Alright so could it possibly be you trying to bottle or essentially regulate yourself? Is you trying to live a normal, cordial and responsible life maybe conjuring more anxiety? I know I'm getting a little psychiatrist with that, but just chew on it for a little bit. I used to live the life of a total party girl and bad a#s. I've now tried to settle down, vacuum the house, walk the dogs, be a good wife, not party all night, and live in total chaos. But funny enough, while I thought it would make everything better and calmer in my head, it just makes things louder a lot of the time. IF this is you, MUSIC. Music, music, music. It shuts your brain up- find something else meditative but active( mine is cooking) that you can shit everything off and just get in your element. STill not working? Then watch the drunk dumbo pink elephants rant. ;)
Renestel
Silver Member
Oops shut off..... Writing on the phone is not always the best.....
ms spock
VIP Member
Crowfeather I do relate - try http://self-compassion.org/ it has free audio to listen and download - don't know if it will help but it is worth a shot. The other one is disputing your distorted cognitions, have you tried reading the David Burns book? Walking meditation or Tai Chi can help with the meditation anxiety increasing situation, might work. Tired but can write more if you are interested.
Friday
Sponsor
I can't remember if you're comorbid ADHD? (The caffeine quieting things down was the tip off). If so, then have to hit both disorders, not just the PTSD. Otherwise the shared symptoms end up triggering each other in a neverending loop.
That's important @FridayJones ! How do you tell however wht might come from what? Seems there's much overlap in the daily-way.
Friday
Sponsor
@Junebug ... You learn to parse it.
Some symptoms actually feel different, so that's nice when an EasyButton is present, even though they look the same. Some are so tangled it takes a helluva long time to learn to unravel them (okay, which is which here???). Some you look for outside clues. Sometimes you just hit both, and see which coping mechanisms work. Lol. And sometimes it is both, one feeding into the other in a never ending loop, and so have to use both sets of coping mechanisms.
Don't wanna take this too far off-topic, tho, 'cause none of this might be an issue for CrowFeather :)
Some symptoms actually feel different, so that's nice when an EasyButton is present, even though they look the same. Some are so tangled it takes a helluva long time to learn to unravel them (okay, which is which here???). Some you look for outside clues. Sometimes you just hit both, and see which coping mechanisms work. Lol. And sometimes it is both, one feeding into the other in a never ending loop, and so have to use both sets of coping mechanisms.
Don't wanna take this too far off-topic, tho, 'cause none of this might be an issue for CrowFeather :)
Yes thank you @FridayJones (& thank you @CrowFeather ).
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@FridayJones would love to hear more. My only diagnosis is cptsd. Pdoc considers every thing under that core issue. I had been diagnosed BP long ago and still cycle a bit. Honestly the only way to get to sleep when things get as intense as they did last night is imagining not so healthy scenerios. I'm figuring it triggers freeze and everything collapses and allows me to finally rest. Of course this morning I was completely nonfunctional and had to take the day off. The joys.
Friday
Sponsor
Right??? Oy. :wtf: Needs must, though. I trigger myself on purpose more than I would care to admit, just because a panic attack I can deal with, long practice, and it supersedes something else taking over that I can't. In the choice between two evils.... Yep! That one! The one I know I can deal with!
<grin> Then I wouldn't worry about it right now. Unlike PTSD, ADHD is about 84.5% really good stuff.
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