Seriously? Really?

[Hope4Now]

Dumping rant warning alert. Just need to scream in words.
Just finished cleaning up from a kitchen fire. Big flames. Fire extinguisher. All okay, but a total mess. In the past month or so, we have had two (yes 2) kitchen fires, major leaks from ice dams that continue, daughter struggling with leg cramps that make her scream in the middle of the night, crazy relatives who call in the middle of the night because a) they don't know what time it is and b) they think the police are coming to get them. Our dishwasher broke last spring along with our hot water heater, neither of which we can afford to replace (argh, my one comfort in life is a long hot shower). In the past year, we have had three massive car accidents, two child injuries that required x-rays and lengthy PT and crutches, a mother-in-law with a hip replacement after a fall, another mother-in-law with 9-hour open heart surgery, a father-in-law who is getting dotty, an uncle who probably has hydrocephalus but doesn't want anybody to know, and...oh it is so boring and long I can't even go on. There's more.

On top of that, I have melted down with PTSD and chronic pain and recovered memories.

I know, I do know and understand that a lot of people are way worse off in so many ways. But for right now, I just want to whinge and feel self-pity.

Bring it on, universe. The stress cup overflowed about three years ago, and the torrents don't seem to be abating. There is only so much that mindfulness can do. Really. AAAAGH.

Thank you for listening.

 

[Nighthawk]

Thats a lot of stuff I don't think mindfulness has a chance.

:hug: if youll accept

 

[darrenS]

we are not worried about others being way worse, at this time we are here for you. There has to be some good right , i understand how things just seem to rollover and create new problems , its like the world collapses and decides to do it in our life. what i would do is simplify everything ...pull the phone out or turn it off after a certain time at night . You are in no position to take others problems on - look after yourself and the ones very closest to you

It is so easy when things go haywire to find more to pile on , i understand they have happened and its distressing , but seriously you cant support others if your in no position to support yourself - in some ways you have to be selfish and in fact you must be , particularly when your in recovery.

You have to put yourself first , or in all honesty its just not going to happen, and there must be some good right and you have to concentrate on that otherwise it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy

The only thing i cant live without is my hot showers , that i just cannot imagine - take my house...my car...all my wordly possessions...but dont take my hot shower !!

Good luck and i hope things get better for you.

 

[Sighs]

yep - the universe is like that - when it all goes to sh*t - it ALL goes to sh*t!

hugs if you accept them!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Holy crap you have a right to b!tch! No worries on that front. I think it's ok to throw occasional pity parties if it lets us get it out of our systems and move forward. Sometimes we just need to vent!!!

 

[KwanYingirl]

Oh @Hope4Now i have so much empathy for you and your family. Too many crises. Holy crap. I've had ice dams flood this winter and a frozen solid sewer pipe. Just those two things unhinged me, I can't find the words to comfort you. You've had way too much. Rant away!! Some heartfelt primal screams or walk on hot coals-this better be it for a long while.

And PTSD. I sure hope you're carving out time for your therapies. You must know that you have done so much work in honor of your healing. I know that I have benefitted from your insights and wisdom. Yeah, there's time for screaming just as important as saying nothing at all. I guess turning off your phone at night is out of the question with children living at home. Disguise your voice and answer the phone as your answering service. Office hours are 9-5 please call back then...???

Time has a way of settling us if we don't dissociate. Remember your root chakra. I do mountain pose in bare feet. Seriously, I hope you summon all the wisdom you have gained. It will guide you, it will narrow the swing of the pendulum. And at last it will settle. Namaste.

 

[sun seeker]

You've really had bad luck in spades! Maybe you have a poltergeist? I'm joking... I think I am anyway... but I can appreciate how all this is too much. You're more than justified in ranting.

One very small suggestion to alleviate a little of this stress: could you unplug your phone when you go to bed so you can't be woken up?

 

[WildMermaid]

@Hope4Now you poor dear rant away! Hopefully things calm down to a dull roar soon and you regain your balance. As @KwanYingirl said Mountain pose is good if you can stand. Child's pose can be soothing if it is okay for your body. I do seated forward bend and rest my head on my knees when I just need to center and forget the world for a bit.

 

[Hope4Now]

Y'all are awesome. Thanks. I was feeling badly about my rant after I posted. But now I feel warm and fuzzy reading your responses. I guess ranting is okay sometimes. Thank you! Now...LOL...as I am typing, I am smelling skunk and hoping to dear heaven that it hasn't sprayed my dog. I don't think I want to open the door. That would just be more icing on the cake.

I am thinking lovely thoughts. (Yes, Peter Pan plays a larger role in my life than I ever thought possible). I am thinking lovely thoughts and hoping to fly away to neverland.

 

[WildMermaid]

@Hope4Now it is time to make a blog or write a book! It could all begin with the skunk ;)...Truly though I hope the dog has not been sprayed... and there is room here at the Mermaid Lagoon should you decide to make Neverland your home! ;) :hug:

 

[Hope4Now]

@Glitterkitty you make me smile. Thank you! Sadly, I think I'm a lost boy, so I can't come swim with you. But I'm glad to know you're there in Mermaid Lagoon! (My daughter, at 10, was convinced that she would become a mermaid if she could swim in the ocean on a full moon night at midnight. She actually did it under odd circumstances. She was terribly disappointed in the morning when she didn't wake up with a tail.) Too much magical thinking in this household, probably. All my fault. But it has saved me in my life too. I think reality is impinging these days. Sigh.

The dog was not sprayed. YAY! Whole house stinks though because all the windows are still open trying to get rid of all the smoke. Glad it is not sub-zero temps tonight.

 

[Hope4Now]

Remember your root chakra. I do mountain pose in bare feet. Seriously, I hope you summon all the wisdom you have gained. It will guide you, it will narrow the swing of the pendulum. And at last it will settle. Namaste.

Thanks for this reminder. Actually did a chakra cleansing tonight (before the fire!). Probably need to do it again. And mountain, yes, mountain. Must get back into my daily yoga pose habit. Have fallen out. Perhaps why all this is more overwhelming than usual. Thank you for your kind words. And I'm sorry you've had the ice issues too. Ugh. Especially with the sewer pipe.