Federal definition in the US:
An Updated Definition of Rape...
Now there you have it
“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”
RAPE is a horrible thing to do to another person, even just one instance can damage a person for life. Multiple instances can be so disabling to actually lead to suicide. Unfortunately I have had 5 with one involving a gang. Never been able to function normally sense.
That is exactly it. I fight the word abuse because I don't want to admit I was abused.
The approac...
I have a suggestion, sidestep the admitting, and define what happened to you in your own words using your own ways to describe certain things. Don't use societies definitions, and stuff. This allows you to express it on your own terms. In therapy it does not matter what words you use, its the working through the acts that took place that affected you that matter. Back in the 90's when I made my first disclosure, and that was very limited at the time due my trust issues, I could not say a lot of the words moreless think about them, so I had to use other references that did not hurt as much. Even today, I have to use references to the acts that represent it, but don't carry an abuse related label.
I can completely relate to you, every time I have been asked about do I have an abuse history, I can't get past the first item before I shut down, and go into a dis-associative state, I have to do it on paper, and in pieces over time.
In summary, find your own way to frame things on your own terms so that you do the work you need to do in therapy, any good therapist will recognize this as a way to cope with the subject matter, and work with it.
