shame in telling what happened

[synchronicity]

Hi all,
I've been in therapy for four years now, and am finally beginning to process trauma, which is difficult to even type. I tried EMDR twice and it was too activating for me and left me in an unsafe place. My therapist now has me trying to walk through facts, then emotions, then cognitive distortions. For facts, she means "who what when where," which is overwhelming. The "what" is so hard, and I told her today that I don't think I can say it and be okay- I feel like I'll just fall apart or melt and that vulnerability feels unbearable. I'm realizing a huge part of that is the amount of shame I feel, but I don't know how to move past that shame or to say the what while still feeling so much of it. Any advice?

 

[blackemerald1]

For facts, she means "who what when where," which is overwhelming. The "what" is so hard, and I told her today that I don't think I can say it and be okay

Did you tell her this? Did you discuss how you will deal with raising the 'facts' and when you leave the session (s) how you will cope. Possibly I would be asking her for some tools to keep you stable once you are out of there. Things to bring you back down, ground you or maybe if it is too overwhelming in-patient care whilst you move through this phase of treatment. It's important to discuss all of this.

 

[Rumors]

EMDR your shame... and you have to talk about it. What specifically are you ashamed of? Where do you feel it in your body so you can recognize it when it comes up? What negative cognition do you have about yourself in regards to the shame? Reframe the shame... it sucks. I have a lot and I really have to work hard to keep it at bay.

 

[pink318]

Hi- Welcome to the forum!
Please try to discuss your true feelings to your therapists. He is trained to help you cope with all you are going through. I hope you can get the treatments you need to get better soon.

Praying for you, God bless.

 

[Snowflake]

Have your therapist do EMDR on a tiny piece of memory. Or write it down and read it or have your therapist read it while holding the pulsars or whatever you use.