Sick Of The Devastation Left By Sociopaths

[Queen Boudica]

I'm sick of this. Really sick of how my brain is so messed up and confused and how it turns me into this mad panicky so completely unsure of myself, questioning, gibbering, useless, mess. :mad:

And I am sick of reading of others who have exactly the same symptoms because of Narcisissts, sociopaths, psychopaths - F**KING MONSTERS, who wreck your brain, wreck your soul, suck the life out of you, so, no matter how much you do or try to be perfect, which you shouldn't be doing anyway, but you just keep trying and trying and it never works, because it is ALWAYS your fault, you are at fault, you are never good enough. Because they want their SELFISH DISGUSTING VILE needs met and they prey on you and destroy you to do that without the slightest guilt.

And they walk away without the slightest care leaving you in a heaped pile, claiming that they were the perfect mother or father or husband and that you just did not appreciate them. And it is your FAULT, not theirs. And they blame you for being ungrateful and selfish and tell you that you are the monster, when it is them.

They were MONSTERS and we have to pick up the pieces. Only we can't because we are left complete messes, our brains are completely damaged and we keep living the same nightmare over and over again. And, no matter how hard you try, you can't escape how your brain pulls you back and makes you feel like you are there living that nightmare.

One day I will get it into my head that I am not in that nightmare and that I don't have to be perfect. I just don't know how yet because my brain just won't let me. Duh!​

 

[Srain]

((((((((((((((Lizio)))))))))))))))))) :(

 

[anni]

Yes and yes. It's awfully, AWFULLY hard to disengage these people. Almost impossible. We have to though because by their nature it quite simply does zero to them, our reactions to them. Zero. That's shattering also, if we allow ourselves to engage THAT thought so we quite simply cannot, it's our backside on the line emotionally and physically, not theirs. Not only do they not care, most get a kick out of it.

Yep. We have to walk away from the wreckage, bottom line, refuse to look backwards. I am luckier than most in not having a birth parent as one 'just' other family plus inherited family. There's an awesome book by M. Scott Peck called 'People of The Lie', please don't be put off by the rest of the title since it's 'The hope for curing human evil', or something along those lines. He's not a kookoo extremeist, just states that some of these extreme sociopathic and narcissitic types must certainly be tempting fate by flirting with true evil. It's a really engaging book and extremely helpful since he points out that NO sane person possesing normal feelings can not be destroyed by attempting to process life with these people. It's not possible and it's not us, it's them. I know we know that but it's very cool to read it from this perspective plus thought provoking.

Sorry so long with this reply, I just saw the thread title and thought 'OI'.

Hugs, been there, like yesterday.

Anni

 

[Queen Boudica]

That is so triggering. My mother would be telling me my sister was evil and she called me evil. But it was her that was evil.

Again, the truly evil person turns it round and accuses the innocent of being evil.

But I hate that word evil. Evil implies it is coming from the devil, that the person is possessed of the devil. That is what my mother was trying to imply.

No such thing. The sociopath is possessed by themself, all they care about is themselves. No caring for others, no compassion, no guilt, just pleasuring themselves. It is like they are a primitive animal. Ughhh!

 

[Meadowsweet]

The sociopaths biggest loss is the person who takes their independence back.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Right there with you, ((((Lizio))))!!!

There is a thread of justice shining through, and it is us, sharing our experiences and helping others who ask for it.

 

[anni]

I'm sorry, did not mean to be triggering for you. It's the only way I can personally write these people off. Everyone is of course different in their belief systems and processing, I do not actually believe in the devil-only that evil exists. But like I said, please excuse, did not mean to be triggering for you.

 

[Queen Boudica]

(((((Anni)))))) Sorry was not having a go at you for triggering me. Just saying the word Evil is triggering to me. My mother bandied it about so much.

So many people to her were evil. It was used so much by her to make you feel guilty and for her to control you.

One day I just woke up and realised, she was the one who was evil. Though I still don't want to truly believe that evil exists. But, clearly it does. And clearly these people are evil.

It is the correct word, just it was used by my mother to control and abuse me and my sister, so it is triggering.

 

[CraftyCath]

I have had this happen to me a couple of times but not by family members (that's another story) but from so called friends. I was so desperate for friendship that I ended up being the lap dog and allowed them to use and abuse me. Never again. It has taken me a long time but I have cut them out of my life. I grieved and grieved for the loss of these friendships but now they are no longer occupying my head (well, they sneak back in from time to time but I am learning to deal with it).

I often wonder what made these people do what they do, what their story is? Not that that is an excuse, no way! I've been to hell and back and I don't treat people like that. Hang on. Doesn't that make us better than them? You bet ya!

((((Lizzio)))) hang in there sweetie. x

 

[votedmostcheerful]

Lizio, WOW! I could have written that myself. It IS so unfair!!!!!! I am sorry they did that to you. It sucks that we have to accept the uncertainty, lack of self, etc (their inflicted wounds) as our own to deal with. Not fair but I have realized that we can't un-ring the bell. I really had to grieve that to be at peace with who I am- wounds, lack of confidence, lack of skills and all. But that is not all that we are and we have to remember that! I wish you acceptance of your beautifully developed self and relief from your pain.

 

[niksgee]

I know this subject inside out. This is what I wrote on another forum.... its for victims of sociopaths and psychopaths. I too have PTSD, mine was firstly created by a massive trauma but the I was unfortunate to meet a narcissist who mentally destroyed me whilst my brain was frozen in shock, then a sociopath who lied, decieved, gas lighted, emptied my bank account, did smear campaigns I lost my job, then stalked me, and threatened me. It was an absolute nightmare. I hope that you see my message i sent to you. Nobody can understand the crazy that you go through with a sociopath. Or how they leave you feeling isolated, and totally alone. We get it, when we have been through it. When you talk you realise that its all the same.

1. Assessment stage (how much are you worth)
2. Probing asking loads of questions (to find your weaknesses)
3. Seduction, often using those weaknesses, chinks in your armour to seduce you, lies manipulation, deceit
3. Love bombing so you cannot think
4. Gaming to take what they want
5. Finally when they realise there is nothing more that they can gain from you - Ruining begins, smear campaigns, lies told about you, theft, anything to ruin you.
They devalue you, discard you, and gaslight you, they play with your mind. I hope that you see my message, as I do think that I might be able to help... i know this subject far too well :(

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My dad was the sociopath and the sickest member of the family. I cut off contact with him. In a letter to one of my brothers he said if he had it do over again he would do the same thing.

The devastation he wrecked in my own life took so many years to recover from. He is dead now and cannot hurt anyone anymore. I am very grateful for that.

I am glad that I cut him out of my life. He left his scars but I am nothing like him at all I am happy to say. He destroyed our family and anyone around him. What a waste of humanity.