whiteraven
Diamond Member
I honestly have. All the stuff that would normally be "fun" for me just exhausts me and makes me more depressed and cry now. The only thing that I can do and feel sometimes a sense of peace is be with my cats.
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I honestly have. All the stuff that would normally be "fun" for me just exhausts me and makes me more depressed and cry now. The only thing that I can do and feel sometimes a sense of peace is be with my cats.
lostforgottensoul
VIP Member
What about volunteer at an animal shelter? Something about animals that seems to always lift your spirits! I am currently training my dog and some things that used to make me boil in horrid frustration makes me laugh today. Most of the time. I have the moments that I need a time out and go boil on the couch for a bit but goofy animals and depressed and crying? Its an oxymoron many times! Or at least they are good huggers and cuddlers!
Teasel
VIP Member
Forget stuff that you normally enjoy and try to think of things that might appeal to you as you are now. :-)
As @lostforgottensoul says, animals are great. For me it's animals, children, being in nature.
Best x
highwaybeauty
Bronze Member
Juggling in a way is a grounding technique as it helps keep you focused on a particular task, there is the element of touch and it is pretty difficult to juggle successfully if your mind is elsewhere. It is fantastic you have found something that works for you :)
HB x
@whiteraven have you tried not doing anything? It sounds like everything you've tried to do has been unhelpful at best. I also noticed many suggestions for other things you could try - and I don't doubt that those activities are very effective for many people. Maybe taking a bit of down-time each day will help?
In my own experience, I sometimes have to sit in a dark or mostly dark room and do nothing. It helps because there's nothing to stimulate me and fuel my thoughts and imaginings.
I tend to take an ordinary circumstance which I experienced that day - someone glanced at me with a weird look on their face, for example - and proceed to twist it into the most rageful and violent encounter I can think of. My anger is more prevalent these days than depression is, and neither self-harm, nor suicide, nor substance abuse were ever my thing.
I stay in that dark room for maybe thirty minutes and just imagine giving in to that rage. My fan is going, maybe some music to match my mood, but at a low volume. Just enough noise that I can't hear rvery little noise from my neighbors in the hallway or birds, sirens, car engines, etc. outside my window. I usually lay on my bed so I don't get tired of sitting upright, and once I'm settled, I don't shift around again until I feel calm. The music and fan become white noise pretty easily, so they aren't stimulating to me.
My thoughts and feelings can jump around, juggle, swing a hula hoop, go skydiving, go deep-sea diving, go racecar driving, jog along the beach, walk through a park, eat a piece of pie and finally flop down on their own bed in my brain, exhausted. At the end of thirty minutes, I'm ready to get up and go about my business with poise and minimal (if any) disruption from my thoughts and feelings. They're still there, just subdued. I call the shots and they're too worn out to have a disproportionately intense reaction.
It's not a perfect remedy, nor one that would be available to you under all circumstances, but it might be a start. I hope this is helpful. Let me know if I can help clarify anything!
Hugs,
NB
In my own experience, I sometimes have to sit in a dark or mostly dark room and do nothing. It helps because there's nothing to stimulate me and fuel my thoughts and imaginings.
I tend to take an ordinary circumstance which I experienced that day - someone glanced at me with a weird look on their face, for example - and proceed to twist it into the most rageful and violent encounter I can think of. My anger is more prevalent these days than depression is, and neither self-harm, nor suicide, nor substance abuse were ever my thing.
I stay in that dark room for maybe thirty minutes and just imagine giving in to that rage. My fan is going, maybe some music to match my mood, but at a low volume. Just enough noise that I can't hear rvery little noise from my neighbors in the hallway or birds, sirens, car engines, etc. outside my window. I usually lay on my bed so I don't get tired of sitting upright, and once I'm settled, I don't shift around again until I feel calm. The music and fan become white noise pretty easily, so they aren't stimulating to me.
My thoughts and feelings can jump around, juggle, swing a hula hoop, go skydiving, go deep-sea diving, go racecar driving, jog along the beach, walk through a park, eat a piece of pie and finally flop down on their own bed in my brain, exhausted. At the end of thirty minutes, I'm ready to get up and go about my business with poise and minimal (if any) disruption from my thoughts and feelings. They're still there, just subdued. I call the shots and they're too worn out to have a disproportionately intense reaction.
It's not a perfect remedy, nor one that would be available to you under all circumstances, but it might be a start. I hope this is helpful. Let me know if I can help clarify anything!
Hugs,
NB
whiteraven
Diamond Member
Hi @New Blue, and welcome.
Oh yeah. I definitely *need* down time, but it tends to make me more depressed.
Thank you!
That's the problem. Nothing appeals to me.
Oh yeah. I definitely *need* down time, but it tends to make me more depressed.
Thank you!
That's the problem. Nothing appeals to me.
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Thanks for the welcome @whiteraven !
It's always darkest before dawn, as they say. Give it a couple tries, if you so choose, but note that sometimes it can take some getting used to. If it still doesn't suit you, then no worries. It's just a suggestion, and I won't be offended. :-)
I know that "doing nothing" might sound like "lay in bed all week," but I want to emphasize that it doesn't have to be that long. Try five or ten minutes. If that doesn't calm you down, try twenty minutes the next time. Play around with it. If twenty leaves you feeling worse, try scaling back to fifteen. You get the idea.
Another thought I just had is trying meditation, since it involves the same quiet sitting, just with a little more structure in terms of mental activity. There's lots of different types out there, so if you want to try it out (assuming you haven't already), I'm sure you can find something that has some positive effect.
The site I use belongs to a Christian Brother who has studied meditation extensively. I can't post links or URLs for some reason - I think because my account is too new - but I can tell you how to get there: google "Meditate with Brother Camillus Chavez," and it should be the first result (after any ads). Click on the "Audio" tab at the top, then scroll down to the first set of bullet points.
Each bullet has a link for an audio file, which features Br. Camillus verbally walking you through various visuals in your meditation. If you decide to try these, I recommend starting with the 10 minute Instructional Meditation to get a feel for how he structures his meditations, and then go down the list from there.
Note that he will use a hint of Christian terminology (ie. "Cast your cares upon the Lord; the Lord will sustain you"). You can choose to substitute your own term mentally, or ignore that sentence altogether. Some links involve visualizing a Biblical scene, as noted in the link text. They are not sequential, so you can skip around as you wish. You don't have to be Christian to use these meditations.
Anyway, it's another suggestion, and I put it out there for you as well as anyone else reading this thread. Even if you don't find it useful, maybe someone else will. :-)
NB x
whiteraven
Diamond Member
Yes, I have studied mindfulness extensively and am currently doing a course that incorporates that and some other stuff in a regular, daily program. Just doesn't help.
Thing is, I am stuck in-between the space between where I am and the "doing." Not always. But 99% of the time. And I truly have tried nearly everything (I say nearly, because I'm sure there is something I haven't tried), but nothing has helped so far.
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