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Soul Sickness?

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Update: my office overlooks a graveyard. On the other end is a major rote where my mechanic happens to be. I can see his garage from my window. For 12 years I drop my car off then walk a long loop down 2 busy roads to get to work. I just was terrified of walking through the graveyard. So this morning I dropped my car off and decided that I was going to put a halter on my Pegasus and walk through the graveyard. Instead of a twenty minute walk to my office it took 4. And 3 hours later I walked back through to get my car, which needs to go back again tomorrow for a major repair ($$$$$). This is a HUGE shift. A gift from the Universe. Just sayin'.
 
Wow, I wish everyone would prepare themselves and do the work you're doing right now. This is huge. I believe that the healing of trauma must actually happen at this deeper level. Sometimes, in my healing work, it seems very simple, yet quite profound. And that makes it hard for me to explain. You explain it very well. (Feel more than free to PM me if you would prefer.) :)

I have so many questions, but I'll just stick to one for now so as to not get carried away. If you can't or don't want to answer, it's okay with me because it's very personal, I understand. I'm curious about the indigenous people.

Do you think that is like a parallel space your soul can visit or was that a scene from a past incarnation that was set up to protect you in your travels?

One image that hit me as I read that part was that you saw that playing scene with them before and can return to in a time of need. This makes me wonder if a protection was placed on you by those people that is now assisting you in this life, as a tool to call upon. Or perhaps it's an image of that from before coming to earth placed with you before your arrival on the planet.

I don't assume we have the same ideas, but I do think that we do prepare to come here but I am not at all opinionated about what that looks like.

Thank you for sharing. This is truly beautiful work and I am so inspired.
 
@Muse I have learned to take Shamanic journeys to other realities that are lower world which is full of animals and Indigenous people. When we are born, certain animal spirits agree to protect and guide us. They may have been with us for many lifetimes, as does our soul. They willingly take on the challenges that face us. The upper world is beyond the cosmos we are familiar with. There are angels, fairies and cherubs. Again, they have chosen to work with us. There is also middle world which is where lost souls go and is rather bleak. I journeyed there by mistake and it was creepy. One must not go there without a Shaman.

We each have a primary power animal and then other animal spirits you can call on for help. My primary animal is wolf. I also have hawk, swan and an Indigenous man that travel with me. Gotta go I'll write more later
 
These experiences are all so powerful! Seemingly somewhat on a parallel with my own healing. Or, healing of the same type perhaps.

I have come to a place where my positive spirit is able to be present more of the time. My energy is rebounding from the darkness I was constantly wrapped in and I am able to feel the light now.

I am a person, now, who brings light to others, shares it, stays positive (wow is that a change! if they only knew!). And it doesn't feel as fake as it used to. Like I am being an imposter, or "faking it til I make it".

I expect more negative energy to arise for attention, but the positive sticks around and gets stronger with each pass.

@KwanYingirl congrats on being able to walk through the graveyard :):tup:
 
@Muse sorry I had to cut my response abruptly. A client came in early.
To answer your questions about what I believe the phenomena to be, I believe that the other realities really exist and that is because I have hawk fly me to upper world and my sinuses and ears hurt as we ascend. When I morph into a four year old, it is me. I don't feel this way toward her in ordinary reality. She is very comfortable among the indigenous folk and I trust them with her. I don't choose where to go when I arrive in lower world. My animal spirits guide me.

At some point my Shaman will explore past lives with me. She wants me to call the shots and be a facilitator. However, when she gets into a trance state, things come through that are meant to at that time. All journeying is done in a trance state. It is achieved by listening to drumming that changes the brainwaves. My spirit animals have asked me to find faith and to trust them. They lead me to places of healing.

What is a quandary for me is that I've been studying Buddhism for several years, and I'm working on merging the two approaches to ending suffering. I find great benefit from mindfull meditation and the practices of the Buddha. My therapist encourages me to keep an open mind, to take what helps and kick the rest under the table.
 
Thank you for sharing. This sounds amazing.

I had a dream this week that my trauma memories are not perfectly accurate. I was told this by my 'sister' in the dream. It hurt my feelings because she was also abused as I was and is in denial and won't/can't validate. Instead, she tries to push me to be with the abusive parents all the time. Even though her guides said this will never happen. I think she blames me, and my memories, and wants to control me.

In the dream, she said my memories are "inaccurate at best" and told me to do an African drumming ceremony to ask the spirits to guide me to the truth.

In my dreams, often I take personally and feel hurt by what people say and do, when the truth is that their voice is saying something else to me. Like maybe a healing ceremony with drums would be just the ticket for me! And not focus on the negative side of the message that hurt me.

How did you find your Shamanic healer? I would be interested in finding the right person for me.
I can soul journey on my own, and do healing on myself and others on my own. Where I struggle is just like you said, to "dive in and trust another to help me."

I've been hurt so much, and when not hurt, disappointed, to the extent that I have all but totally lost interest in accepting help. I have never liked help or compliments. I am such a loner, and I see now that it's just how I am and have always been. It's who I am. Not just PTSD. But I can work with it and balance. Right? (I hope!)

How did you learn to trust? How do you find someone to trust?
 
@Muse my Shaman happened to come to me for treatment and in idle conversation, she told me she's a Shaman. You could try a Google search or ask around to Reiki masters or Reflexologists or crystal healers. You can't learn Shamanism. It is preordained. A local Buddhist center may know. I trust her because I started with learning to journey first, read two books and have attended group discussions with other people. It took me months before I finally showed up for a one on one session. PM me if you like. I would but don't know how to do it!!! (Maybe I should ask my guides to improve my tech skills)
 
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