Relationship Spousal Abuse Or Ptsd Support???

[LilacFaerie]

I also feel nothing i am emotionally dead or at least thats what i thought until the moment my wife a...

I wonder if there's a way here. He says if I walked, he wouldn't "chase" me or plead. He'd watch me go. My tank feels real empty at the moment. He's not shown me there's a reason to stay.

 

[Dannyuk78]

I wonder if there's a way here. He says if I walked, he wouldn't "chase" me or plead. He'd watch...

he might not be able to communcate all that is going on.

If you are running on empty yourself then you are not doing yourself any good, is there not a place you could go and recharge your own batteries.

for your own health at the moment i can only see two choices

1. You go and recharge yourself make sure your ok
2. Ask him to go so that you can recharge and make sure your ok.

My wife did this to me post all the above, but she did it in a safe way even when she was so angry at me, she arranged for me to goto my friends house and stay for a week. she knew i was safe and she had all the space to recharge.

it gave me the time i needed to process and decide what was going on

 

[LilacFaerie]

Strange, he just came back from being away for a week or so. Had to go north to deal with a house we are still trying to sell. Once he was gone a few days, I started feeling like I could have a calm discussion with him. But no, it's never meant to be. He confided tonight that the motorcycle accident I thought was an accident was just him not trying to correct the trajectory of the bike once it went off the road. I guess it could've been corrected. He just chose not to.

 

[Nicolette]

You're not an idiot & PTSD isn't an excuse to treat people badly. It's a reason to learn the self control necessary so that we don't treat people badly.

The line between symptoms, expressions, & coping mechanisms can get blurry sometimes. But at the end of the day whether I attacked my spouse in a nightmare (symptom), lashed out in rage (expression: See PTSD Stress Cup), got drunk & picked a fight (coping mechanism)... I'm still treating my spouse badly. And that's wrong. Full stop.

There is no excuse for it. To continue the same examples, if I'm in a nightmare cycle I need to sleep in a different room, if my stress levels are rising I need to vent it in a controlled fashion (and clear my backblast) before I'm exploding, and I need to stop drinking and picking fights & learn new / healthier coping mechanisms than drinking & fighting to deal with my symptoms. These things are all doable. PTSD is a bitch, but it's also highly manageable, when we take the time and effort and do the work to learn how to. Not an easy thing, and not usually a fast thing, but a required thing.

LOVE, love, love every word of this :inlove:

 

[Nicolette]

I guess it could've been corrected. He just chose not to.

Ouch, I'm sorry...