But...wait I do this too except its a little portable gps device I bought bc I can no longer read and retain map directions in my head as I once did. Is this ptsd or just getting older and out of practice?
I think it might be a PTSD thing because prior to PTSD, I was still really good at memorizing directions and knowing where I am while going around. Now? After 'activating' PTSD (gonna call it activation due to my decades of trauma) - I suck at it.
If it's an old place, that I used to go to, or roads I'd drive a whoooole lot, I still know the way. I still can just think of my destination and drive there - like, any major grocery store -with relatively unchanged roads for the past 5-10 years!-.
But anywhere new? Any traffic pattern changes? Even if it's on those same roads I'm used to, I still f*ck up. I need to use my phone's GPS voice announcing thing - that's the first time I've used it in my life... the other week... going to a place that -should- be extremely familiar territory >.<
f*ckin' bullshit. For me, PTSD just completely f*cks my memory up most of the time. I imagine others have various levels of experiences with that sorta thing. But thanks to technology we have -some- help with it. Lmao. At least in regards to road directions.
It feels like using a crutch to me. Big time.
Why though? Lots of people use it who don't have a single mental illness.
However - I, my whole life, since GPS became a -thing- that normal people could use - I refused to use it, aside from looking at maps, without even having routes mapped out. Just to see the final destination - rather than which route to take there.
I do that because if you use GPS all the time, -as a non-disabled-person- who is fully normal/capable - your brain doesn't store location info because your brain is smart and efficient - it knows "oh... I can just use GPS - therefore storing location and direction info is uselss and irrelevant."
Or.... "I can just google it - I don't need to remember anything, it's all on google"
That's a thing. It's both great because resources like GPS and google/search-engines exist... but it's bad in that unless you've got something forcing you to need those things, like PTSD or memory problems of some kind - it causes your brain to go "hey... we can just use google and GPS instead of remembering things"
But now I use GPS any time I'm going somewhere new. I have to, or I am aimlessly wandering for ages.
Shit, I get lost walking around in my own neighborhood. :/
I tell people I retired. If they push I tell them I'm independently wealthy because I made some good stock choices. That's all they need to know!
Hahaha, that would be funny to tell people at my age. 29 and retired, or independently wealthy.
Ugh.
I need to fill that damn capableness (i dont know what to call it lol) paperwork out still too :/
I'm going to write the answers out in a word document, then boil them down to 1 or 2 sentences :/ haha
from what I understand social security will work with you on retraining and/or going to school so that is something you can look forward to once you get stabilized.
That's good to hear. I do want to go back to school eventually, when I can.
I don't think I possibly could right now :/ but it's something to work towards.
