Still Running

[joeylittle]

Thanks, @shimmerz : I think I understand more clearly.

Have you tried a few more times to get OHIP to continue to accept your PO box? Sometimes things like this can be a question of which agent you talk to. Honestly, I would not get into why you need the PO box with them; simply that you've been using that address for the last four years, and you've been informed it is a problem - but since it's been working, can't you keep it? - That sort of question. You might find someone who will just say "OK" and be done with it.

Can you use your Son's address? Since he is already involved with your ex through the helicopter incident, it sounds like he is not really in danger from your ex knowing where he lives, aside from an angry dad. Am I reading that situation incorrectly?

Is there a workplace address you can use that your ex already knows about, and therefore it is not information he can use?

What I do to try and "unfreeze" when it comes to issues like this is to really get my mindfulness head screwed on tight. The brain can just run wild with fears of what might happen, and those are really not helpful. They aren't currently happening. All that's happening right now is you need to resolve this address problem. You don't know for a fact that its anything other than co-incidence, and its not in your best mental-health interests to believe anything other than that. You do have good reason for wanting to stay under the radar, or at least have your home address hidden. See if you can just accomplish that.

Is any of this helping?

 

[shimmerz]

No, OHIP has already cancelled my coverage. I spoke to them and they are having me scramble to get proof that I am living in a house that I have been but the problem is I hid myself so well that what they are asking for I cannot provide proof for (pieces of mail that are addressed to me there, tax receipts, credit cards, other pieces of id. They are even speaking of checking my ATM card to see where I make purchases. I am so anal about this stuff I take out cash so that nobody can locate me. It is a survival tool I have used and it is biting me in the ass right now. I don't feel like I will be able to satisfy their requests.

This is not my son's father. He is his step-father from back in the day. He doesn't make an easy target, I do. For other reasons as well this is not a viable solution. Besides I am frightened for anyone who is staying at the house that I use as my address. I am afraid they will be harassed or worse still, hurt.

I will think on the workplace address. That would be easier to manage than a residential house if someone were to harass. Thank you. I can't think of anyone right now but perhaps. I am sorry I don't mean to be difficult with these answers. I am giving them great thought either now of have in the past throughout the years that I have had to deal with these issues.

I feel like you are correct with the mindfulness. The past so haunts me. This happened (them finding me and flushing me out) over and over again. I get that I am feeling those feelings. I have asked friends if I am being paranoid, they are saying I am trying to keep safe. That this is a real threat.

I guess the real question here is what is more important to me right now. I am fighting off my past. I have learned that in order to do that I must realize that this is the present. So what is more important here? Do I go on like the past never happened and put myself and others at risk for the sake of my mental health or do I continue to run from these predators (whether they are after me or not) and continue to put my present at risk due to my past issues (which may in fact be real today as well)?

And yes, this is so helping as it is allowing me to think through and articulate properly what the real issue today is and what my priorities need to be to move forward. Personally my mental health is more important to me than even my life. I thank you so much for asking these questions. So appreciate it and apologize if I seem difficult. I am not meaning to be.

 

[shimmerz]

Thank you @ghotiff - yes it is true I am looking for anything right now. I appreciate anything and every idea thrown out there so I can get my head on straight and you guys are helping me a ton. Thank you. I will look at nomadic strategies as yes, I have been living a nomadic life for quite a few years now. Thank you again.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@shimmerz

This therapist has a free article on freezing that has assisted many in other forums. Although some of his terminology is currently not upheld in DSM, I have seen many changes over the years for acceptance such as with codependence.

For freezing:
http://www.pete-walker.com/codependencyFawnResponse.htm

Every warrior must put down their armor for a moment to rest. You WILL rise through this set of circumstances stronger than before. First rest, then aim true.:ninja:

 

[shimmerz]

Every warrior must put down their armor for a moment to rest. You WILL rise through this set of circumstances stronger than before. First rest, then aim true.

@Recovery4Me .... tears. Breathe. I love pete walker. I communicate with him via email at times. He is a great guy. What a great idea. I never thought of him, I don't know why. Thank you so very much.

I am currently looking through ombudsman files and seeing that if I wait three months I may be able to have OHIP re-instated (this will have them slate me as a person who has been out of province/country for 7 months or more). I still need to know which friend I like less and ask them for their address (tears....). @KwanYingirl thank you for this.

 

[Recovery4Me]

:hug: breathing with you...

I still need to know which friend I like less and ask them for their address

Hey, that really is humorous! A peek into the elfin in you.;)

 

[MaybeOneDay]

Hi I am someone who has had to protect who I really am to hide from my family. I am becoming physically well enough to get out of an abusive relationship. I know my circumstances are not the same. But I think it sucks we have been abused and then abused again by the system who does not believe and/or protect and help the correct person. We are forced to live like fugitives while they have lives. This has never made any sense to me. It still doesn't and I am still hiding hoping one day I can be free. Private message me if you would like.

 

[shimmerz]

Seriously, the irony of it all. It is an experience and feeling that one can only describe. It is so difficult because you never know when it is over. Some of us jump to conclusions and end up....regretting that. Thank you @MaybeOneDay. I will contact you tomorrow if that is okay. Head is still spinning although this posting has helped slow it down a bit.

Really....I have to admit I am a bit bitter. Isn't karma or something supposed to kick in for the aggressor rather than the aggressee?

 

[MaybeOneDay]

I am here. Reconnecting with this forum has given me hope again. It is hard to stay sane and hopeful when others or situations treat you as if you are not dealing in reality.

Whenever you want to reach out is fine with me. Be nice to you. You deserve it.

 

[shimmerz]

treat you as if you are not dealing in reality.

This is so my experience. I know what has happened and I can't assume it is not happening again now that this has happened. But I am really wondering after the questions giving so freely by those involved in this post - will I ever be truly healthy again if I keep running. Keep hiding? This is something I have to give serious thought to if I am to recover.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

We have HIPPA laws that prosecute any health related business for disclosing any information of a patient.

From what I hear, this isn't true. HIPPA protects info from going from doctor to doctor. Another member's ex had his girlfriend call and pretend to be her to get medical info. The cops could do nothing and the FBI could do nothing.

 

[shimmerz]

Thank you Solara. I believe that many people FEEL they are protected but when I called OHIP they simply asked my date of birth. Tons of people know that. Hardly secure.