Structural Dissociation - Psychotic 'part'

[shimmerz]

Wait, Shimmerz...that's EAST!!!!

SEEEEEE?????? Told ya so! :woot:

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Quoting is not working Shimmerz, but the CAR is!!!!!:joyful::joyful::joyful: Bella and me have mobility and dearly want a new view, or new neighbors. Block cleaning party on the lake, bonfire for the monsters.:hug::giggle:

 

[shimmerz]

Block cleaning party on the lake, bonfire for the monsters.:hug::giggle:

I feel like this has potential for great things for all! A new and refreshing view for all and great laughs. I say we meet at @Scouts place and work from there!

 

[shimmerz]

Some "part" of you felt that shelter was necessary.

And that I am absolutely incapable of providing it for myself. Or trusting in it. Or deserving it. I am literally terrified of houses and being in houses.

And that fits exactly with what is going on in my world now and what was happening in my world 50 years ago. It is lovely that people are helping me but goddammit I raised 5 children, ran a business, lived the life and I can't even put a roof of some sort over my own head.

This is the greatest of all defeats. My greatest vulnerability. This is why t-doc used to ask me every time he did an assessment of me 'Where do you live' and watch for my reaction. Always the first question. f*ck.

Still.at.square.one. f*ck me.

 

[Lucycat]

It seems to me that people have vastly different interpretations of the word 'psychosis';

That seems more like a poor choice than an irrational choice. "Psychotic", to me, would be more something like deciding to go for a walk with the Tooth Fairy, since you had nothing better to do and she promised purple unicorns.

Yes, to me it is a break with reality.

she has no sense of the "real" situation now, because it isn't real to her. Her "real" is something else, but it is just as real.

Describing current real and past real is still about being real even if inappropriate in time. I would not see this as psychotic in the slightes.

Here's the Dictionary.com definition of "psychotic"
"a mental disorder characterized by symptoms, such as delusions or hallucinations, that indicate impaired contact with reality."

This is absolutely my understanding and experience.

So, saying that, I really don't know what psychosis is. It would be interesting to hear from someone who relates to diagnosed experiences of psychosis.

For me it was in sessions with my T when I was facing ( trying to process) the worst experiences of my trauma. I was completely overwhelmed and terrified. I saw the walls moving and changing colours. I was scared to put my feet to the floor because the floor looked like a shimmering jelly. It was absolutely petrifying, and T had to guide me through it emotionally, reassuring me that it was not real, that my mind was 'playing tricks' and it would get better. It happened on more than one occasion, but the first was the worst as I did not know what it was.

Is holding a knife and facing the door when nobody is in your house and it really makes no f*cking sense psychotic?

This to me is a description of paranoia rather then psychosis.

 

[scout86]

I'll be in Wisconsin for a few weeks in early September.

I actually live slightly west of WI and would be willing to go east..... Or, everyone could come to my house? (I'm serious. My only disappointment would be that I LOVE road trips and wouldn't be making one.)

And that I am absolutely incapable of providing it for myself.

I disagree. Lately, perhaps you haven't been doing it in the style to which you had been accustomed, but you're doing it. Even the car represents "shelter". Perhaps you need more of what my T would call "up to date, accurate information" in making your assessments. So you'd consider that the car will turn into an oven?

 

[shimmerz]

I need your T. Share?

 

[shimmerz]

Or, everyone could come to my house? (I'm serious. My only disappointment would be that I LOVE road trips and wouldn't be making one.)

I'd be in - if I don't end up in TN instead. Seriously nice offer @scout. And then we need to find someone else farther West or perhaps East to host the lot of us so YOU can get the road trip in.

Goddamm I used to LOVE road trips. What is WRONG with me??? :banghead::banghead::banghead:

Keep sending me the love of roadtrips guys will you please?

 

[scout86]

Share?

You know, he DOES work with some people by Skype and email and stuff like that.

 

[shimmerz]

Hmmmm, I wonder...... could you talk to him about me? Try to be kind.... you know, lie. ;)

 

[shimmerz]

I saw the walls moving and changing colours. I was scared to put my feet to the floor because the floor looked like a shimmering jelly. It was absolutely petrifying, and T had to guide me through it emotionally, reassuring me that it was not real, that my mind was 'playing tricks' and it would get better. It happened on more than one occasion, but the first was the worst as I did not know what it was.

Really helpful Lucycat. Thank you so much.

So then I am not speaking in the terms that you described in your earlier post. I am more in the THENNOW version of time dementia. If that makes any sense at all.

 

[scout86]

Yikes! I just went out to the home page to see what else was happening and it's totally different! I thought I'd come back here for a second to make sure EVERYTHING hasn't disappeared!