Alli D87
Learning
My abuser was my narcissist mother in law who emotionally/psychologically abused me while her son, my partner, was battling cancer. Double whammy. So I find myself having flashbacks and being so angry I could throw things.
Where do you find closure? She never accepted how she made me feel. I could never stand up for myself fully because she just tore me down even further, so I just took the abuse... Let her squash any boundaries I had.
I feel so angry and guilty for letting her walk all over me even though that was how I needed to act to not make her treat me worse. I sometimes wish I did and she'd have gone through with the death threats... All her lies and the people I've lost to believing her is just so aggravating and makes me so angry. I truly don't know how to get past this anger. I've tried writing a letter and ripping it up, I journal about it often but there's no relief.
Me and my partner have been no contact with her for 4 years now and I still struggle so much like it's still happening and I am even more stuck with just accepting/taking it. Sitting idly by as she rips my self to shreds with no justice in sight ever.
How does one deal!??!?
Where do you find closure? She never accepted how she made me feel. I could never stand up for myself fully because she just tore me down even further, so I just took the abuse... Let her squash any boundaries I had.
I feel so angry and guilty for letting her walk all over me even though that was how I needed to act to not make her treat me worse. I sometimes wish I did and she'd have gone through with the death threats... All her lies and the people I've lost to believing her is just so aggravating and makes me so angry. I truly don't know how to get past this anger. I've tried writing a letter and ripping it up, I journal about it often but there's no relief.
Me and my partner have been no contact with her for 4 years now and I still struggle so much like it's still happening and I am even more stuck with just accepting/taking it. Sitting idly by as she rips my self to shreds with no justice in sight ever.
How does one deal!??!?