Study Problems

[Imagine_11]

All my goals and plans are on halt at the moment because in order to move forward I must first complete a short course I'm enrolled in.

I am studying an Advanced Diploma in Naturopathy and a Cert in Fitness which was supposed to be an 8 weeks course. I had to defer all studies for some time last year after I had a severe trigger and was struggling with depression and anxiety. I recommenced in March and for about 5 weeks everything was going smoothly and I was feeling accomplished, but then I was triggered and hit a downward spiral, I'm extremely depressed and anxious, even had my first anxiety attack in years this morning.

Every time I sit down to study I think 'I'll just give it a go and if I really don't feel like doing it after trying I will have a lay down instead', but when I sit down to read or set up my books I feel overwhelming panic, I'm really scared of it.

I'm really knew to the diagnosis so I'm not sure yet how to approach situations like this yet.

 

[ghotiff]

Do you know what initiates your anxiety when you go to study.

For example it could be.
- concern about failing
- the books
- the topic
- the location.

If you can find the cause, maybe there is a path around it.

 

[sun seeker]

It's really hard to concentrate with PTSD. If you were used to being able to take in information easily before and now have trouble, it makes sense that it would make you anxious. In addition I imagine there is some time and/or financial pressure to take in the information.

Is it reading itself that makes you anxious, or just studying? If you sit down with a novel, do you get anxious too? That would point to anxiety in general, while if it's just when you are studying, it sounds more like a problem with feeling pressured. If you can pinpoint just what is causing the anxiety you'll be a step closer to figuring out how to approach it.

I wish you well, your courses sound really interesting.

 

[Imagine_11]

It's studying in particular that produces the reaction, I have had PTSD for close to 20 years but have only just been diagnosed but looking back my months of depression and anxiety were all triggered by something. Outside of these times I am able to study and I love reading, when I am triggered I avoid studying completely and reading dips, some weeks I could read a good sized book every couple of days, but then I will go through weeks or months where I have no interest in it and as much as I try to get that passion back I can't focus.

 

[sun seeker]

What happens if you try to study something that isn't part of your courses? That would narrow it down to whether it is a concentration problem (studying requires more concentration than reading something light) or a problem with feeling pressured.

 

[Imagine_11]

I have been researching certain mental illnesses, medications, brain imaging and haven't had any problems with that but anything related to my courses causes panic. I think it would be related to feeling pressured, I always had a problem adding on extra courses just to get certifications I didn't really want or need so I would have something to show that I was 'good enough', I've stuck with the courses that I truly want to do now but I think that internal struggle to prove my worth is still there.

 

[sun seeker]

That makes sense.

Do you know, who are you trying to prove your worth to? Yourself or someone else?

I don't have a particular goal in mind with this line of questioning, by the way. Just saying what comes to me in case it helps you to define what exactly the problem is.

 

[Imagine_11]

I think mostly it is proving to myself that I'm good enough but also to my family as I still act like a child seeking their love, approval and support.