General Sufferer Has A Question Only Supporters Can Answer

[Sing2me]

When its written out I'm beginning to think so! It's funny how from the outside things become so obvious! Thanks for the support. Ill give an update after seeing how it plays out.

 

[ISupportHer]

I so many times find myself referring simply to the Serenity Prayer. To see what I can change, be aware of what I can't and to be able to discern the difference. Not always cut and dry, of course.

We can find ways to ease things but we cannot directly change another individual, we can only change ourself. I am speculating that it can be very hard with PTSD. So many have had incidents during which they had no control and therefore try to gain that control back. I guess what I am saying that is that I am glad you are trying to include your Mom, really reaching out, but that I hope you don't set yourself up for added conflict if she does not respond as you hope she would.

 

[BigBear]

Hmmm....she seems awfully needy.

But her actual need is not being met. She is attacking it the wrong way.

Just wondering. Does she have a way that she can help you? That might be part of her need.

Back to the does she have PTSD thing. There are so many disorders (and other things) that can look similar but work completely different. The diagnosis is critical! And then the treatment. I would certainly encourage her to visit with a therapist. However, she must know that it might take several months of regular meetings for her to get an accurate evaluation and it is important not to try to hurry the therapist!

Bear

 

[StoppingTheCycle]

I would agree that you are trying and doing your part to involve her and create a bond with her. I also agree that this is my space and don't want my husband on her. He would not understand my view on things. Trust me I have tried explaining them and he is not capable of understanding my view I think.

I would try telling her exactly what you have said here. Basically, that you feel bad that you and your father have a special bond and you have been making an effort to establish one with her but you need her to meet you halfway. I would also continue to encourage her to seek medical attention and be assesed for a diagnosis. There are different treatment plans and ways to deal with it based on the diagnosis. But also understand that you can't help her until she is able to help herself. I still struggle with this daily, so yes I know it's not that easy, even more when you have history and deep emotions with the person.