General Taking Care Of Me

[amethist]

Hi Tbam

I do get what you mean about the mourning/anger. It was my support who said this in the first place, as he could see that I was still in the hurting stage of all this. I do get angry at times, but at the guy who caused all of this.

Being angry all the time could make me bitter and twisted, this is not how I was before PTSD, so it will not be how I am going to be in the future. yes we do have a future, different from what we expected it to be, but we still have one.

As I have said before the basis of the man he was is still there, the same crazy sense of humour that catches you off guard, the care he gives our cat, not forgetting the love he still shows me when he can. :Hug_emoticon:

Some one once asked, why do we carry on caring as we do, it's because we can and we want to.

As for the steak anni, medium rare is fine for me too thanks. Oh don't forget the French mustard to go with it. :thumbs-up

Amethist

 

[Tbam]

i am either unable or unwilling to transition from Anger to Mourning, but the anger does start to destroy you as a carer and as a person. I dont want to drag everyone into my own pity party but i think it is asking a lot of a carer to suddenly change midstream (for me after 7 years of marriage) and keep going in a marriage/relationship when the person you married has fundamentally changed in so many ways. If that person still has some or many of the same qualities that caused you to marry them, then maybe carrying on is ok. Perhaps it just takes a better person than I....

 

[AdamAnt]

I'm square in this position and scared to death in a way. I Love my PTSDer, we match so well in so many ways, and I can't imagine "losing" her, but it seems from what I read that this is a possibility that I must entertain.

She's square in the middle for finding out what's going on with herself, doesn't even have all the details of the trauma yet, new ones coming more rapidly now via new and unexpected triggers. She's a strong woman, her mind is solid and she's amazingly insightful, sensative and empathetic (to a fault?), but here I read that she could completely change after she's through this?

I'd mourn for the lost her...If she changes, the world will have lost something indeed.

I'm gonna be keeping my eyes open for the parts of her that become stronger because of the trials she has conquered.

I'm gonna find ways for the tools I aquire that allow us to co-exist to help other aspects of life.

I think that people who are engaged in life don't stay the same, they grow, sometimes in unexpected ways and for unexpected reasons,...That's Life!!

I ain't scared to be right in the middle of it.

Even if it farts every once in a while. 8)

 

[amethist]

Hi AdamAnt

I have found we have both changed in different ways.

My husband is no longer the go out and do anything man, scared of his own shadow at times, and yes he does drive me to distraction as well. We used to be full on bikers, going to rallies and rides out, doing crazy speeds on the Mountain course on the Isle Of Mann, to not being able to even open the door to go out of the house.

But all through every thing he has always know he loves and trusts me to do what has been needed to get him to the point he is at now. I stuck by him and changed with him, for the better on my part, because his accident was not his fault.

Everyones PTSD is different, everyones relationships are different, so we all react different ways too. I am not saying any of this has been easy, there have been times when I wanted out of all this, just wanted it all to go away and back to how things were before 1/9/2007, but I know that can not happen, so we look forward instead to what can be, not what could have been.

It has been a tough and lonely road at times, for both of us. Don't forget whatever happens, the basis of who she was before this happened is still there, you just have to see it, it is possible. It may take some time for those bits to surface again, as the PTSD person she is now, overshadows a lot of it.

Keep going, and don't forget to look after yourself too, it makes it easier to get through the rough times.

Amethist

 

[AdamAnt]

Thank you Amethist... You know, in my life, I've never rrealy cozied-up to the word "normal". I don't want to live mundanely. You're an inspiration!

 

[amethist]

I don't feel like I am an inspiration AdamAnt, just give honest replies to questions about how I cope and get through the rough stuff.

When I first met my husband, he told me life with him would never be boring. He was right with that one, but boy does he push it sometimes.

Then there are days like yesterday, I was feeling ratty with even the smallest things. But that was me and not him or the PTSD, could be the moon or the stress bucket reaching overflow again. After a good nigh sleep, I feel calmer and more relaxed, having the energy to face whatever comes up today.

We are sat in our kitchen at th moment, chatting and listening to the radio, hubby singing along, well mumbling along. He just asked if I thought he sounded like David Bowie, as he was mumbling along to him. My answer to him was, "Of course you do, especially when he is singing from a dustbin with the lid on". He was rolling about laughing at that, but this is a good day, tomorrow, he could have a sad day and feel as if the whole world is against him.

In other words. we take the good days and make the best of them, then just except the bad as best we can as they crop up. It has taken time, a lot of tough love and hard work to get to this stage, but we are both now seeing how this has all been worth while for us.

Amethist

 

[ISupportHer]

Yes, the roller coaster we all talk of. Ups and downs. But, frankly, I think that part of managing your own downs is simply (listen to me, LOL, like anything is simple) having an awareness that any of us are human and have feelings too. Knowing that and having an awareness that you just have to hold on until you level off helps me many times.

ISH

 

[amethist]

Today I am having a day out with my youngest daughter.We are going to a Health and healing Festival. We have missed the last 2 due to my grandson being ill, but his is good and well now, so no excuses not to go. A really nice end to my week off work

I have been told to look out for a particular stand as it will be of interest to me, don't know what that it all about really, so will have to wait and see. Next weekend another day out with my youngest daughter, not doing bad for days off from work AND caring just now.

Will let you know how it went when I get back, as well as the mystery of the stand I have to look out for.

Amethist

 

[amethist]

We had a great few hours out, but we had to come back earlier that we really intended. My fault, wrong shoe's, and my feet hurt like crazy.

Never did find what I was looking for, something similar but not quite what I was told about, maybe this is for another time.

There was some wonderful jewellery, I mean really stunning crystal and silver jewellery. One day when I am rich LOL, yea as if, then I will defiantly treat myself to some of this. I settled for 2 angel prints instead, not the same I know but really nice prints. I will post them up once I have down loaded them from my phone.

Did anyone spot the completely unnoticed, deliberate mistake on the post above, today I went out with my oldest daughter not youngest, that is next week which I did post correctly.

Amethist

 

[amethist]

Ha now I have got the pictures copied and uploaded on here. They look good to say I took pic's of prints.

View attachment 3101View attachment 3102

They are just 2 of the many this guy paint's and then copies himself.

 

[Nicolette]

Gorgeous photos Amethist. I did notice the mistake and just thought it was me going nuts :crazy:

 

[Iam]

LOL I noticed it too ;o) Great prints Amethist! Sorry you had to come back early, but sounds like it was good anyway!