Relationships seem to me to be kind of like living things. They change and evolve over time. The problem with "forever" in my experience, is that people die. Then what? That whole "forever" thing just doesn't seem like a promise anyone should make.I truly believe that no relationship is meant to be forever
Going back to the original question....... When I started seeing my T, I was looking at it kind of as taking a vehicle to a mechanic. "Tell me what I need to do to fix this, then I will and life will move on." It hasn't exactly worked that way. I THINK part of the reason it hasn't is that there were some things I missed growing up that turn out to be important. Like the whole " attachment/trust" thing. I haven't asked him (yet? LOL) but I suspect a lot of the way he's approached things has to do with him thinking I'd benefit from getting more comfortable with the idea of relationships and people being something you can depend on and "trust". So, our relationship has a lot of the feel of a friendship to it. I keep reminding myself that's not what it is. Because he's good at his job (and he seems to be) I'm pretty sure he'd do something to make a course correction if he thought that was a problem. I guess I'm trusting him to do that. As it is, he seems to be going out of his way to demonstrate that we actually DO have a relationship and I can trust it.
So, yeah, I very much think the relationship that develops probably depends on what led you to therapy in the first place. Maybe keeping a distance from a therapist helps you feel "safe". Maybe you need practice with the whole relationship thing, and that becomes part of the process. Another thing my T has mentioned a few times is that he does things the way he does because of who he is. HE has likes and dislikes in relationships too. And things that make him more or less comfortable. That influences how he structures things.