I agree with @that_1_girl in that you pay a therapist to always keep the focus on you.....and not their own personal life. A therapist who overshares, is focused on them. Each time a therapist overshares something personal, it takes away from your own recovery in that moment. A therapist who is preoccupied is not helping you. A therapist who makes you feel guilty by telling too many personal details, is focused on themselves-and not you. A therapist who dumps their emotions on you about their dying dog, is not being a therapist in the moment. I had one who cancelled last minute over her dog.......then she said, "I don't trust my husband to pick the dog up from the vet after surgery" and that's why I cancelled last minute. I didn't need to know that, but more importantly, that told me my T was having relationship problems. You pay for your T to be present for the hour you are there, supporting you and also to be well enough to manage their own home stuff......you do not pay to support them and their issues, and it is a rare thing for a therapist to need to give you a lot of personal details about their feelings or their personal life stuff. That doesn't "change" if you aren't paying.......it's still 100% their job to monitor and not let their personal stuff intrude into the counseling relationship.