Telling my family about PTSD.

[Freida]

Got a a vision in my mind that is me being forced to tell them everything.

this is huge!!! you know what you are thinking and that it may not be what you want. Give yourself some kudos :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't think you're being disinigenuous or dishonest in being private with your family. There is a time and place, but sometimes never the time, too. To be private as necessary is just good boundaries. Not 'treason'.

Ideally it would be to feel less shame around PTSD & addiction.

^^ I agree it's better to be able to be yourself, but that response would require some knowledge of ptsd, and addictions, as well as empathy, and understanding. And if they behaved 'wildly inappropriately' growing up, you don't know what guilt or part they themself wonder, but may not (or never) be ready to face. So they may respond defensively, or categorically dismissive. Or not. Sometimes hearing their reaction to others in the same position might give you a head's up.

And part of addiction is already feeling overwhelmed, needing escape, and often childhood wounding +/or guilt (it's not a moral issue). And probably a lot more no one really understands at this point in time. You need to care for yourself and own recovery, too. I would follow the advice of those trying to help you get better. :hug:

 

[Marvel545]

To be private as necessary is just good boundaries. Not 'treason'

This is true & something I really need to look at with my T.

And if they behaved 'wildly inappropriately' growing up, you don't know what guilt or part they themself wonder, but may not (or never) be ready to face. So they may respond defensively, or categorically dismissive. Or not. Sometimes hearing their reaction to others in the same position might give you a head's up.

I agree with this as well.

--

I've concluded I'm not going to tell them, at all. The real issue is me feeling as though I have to tell them & not to do so is 'treacherous'. Going to discuss it with T today.

My Uncles mental health isn't great at the minute. It worries me, as he's refusing to seek help, he believes his issues cannot be helped.

What it's shown me is that I'm best off taking a big step back from the family dynamic. It's really unhealthy & at this point in my healing, it's imperative for me to focus on myself. Me coming out & saying I have issues may be used as ammunition for bickering & nasty games. This isn't mind reading, it's based on evaluating historical situations & a lack of change.

I've contemplated this before, but it's pretty final now. I say pretty final because I'm well aware that things can change, although I'm not holding my breath.

I want them to be different, but they aren't right now. It makes me sad, but I'm not in control of it.

 

[The Albatross]

Hope you solidify this topic in session(s) Marvel. Share any golden nuggets of wisdom if your shrink has any, k?

 

[Tinyflame]

Me coming out & saying I have issues may be used as ammunition for bickering & nasty games. This isn't mind reading, it's based on evaluating historical situations & a lack of change.

I've contemplated this before, but it's pretty final now. I say pretty final because I'm well aware that things can change, although I'm not holding my breath.

This is true. Things may change, and may never change. What can change is how you view it.

When I look back, many of my everyday, normal opportunities and experiences were way-laid by mentally and emotionally distraught in response to others. (Others would not be devastated as I was, btw, they would have carried on for their own benefit/ life). I often have thought, "what timing", until I realized most interactions with them were always that way. Had to be made angry; dramatized; even traumatizing (not using that word lightly). It is abnormal, and filled with anger. It precludes living in peace and enjoyment. At it's worst it's crazy.

 

[Marvel545]

Been to T & discussed it. He believes it follows a script of having to be perfect when I was younger or people died. I had to be perfectly honest, couldn’t act up in anyway.

It’s mad, after that I felt the penny drop & actually moved on to dissociation. Didn’t want to talk about family at all, which is new for me.

I feel a bit lost & but upset, this has been a big part of my life for a long time. but I think its good.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think you're making positive strides forward!

My family, pretty much all of my family, knows I have PTSD, but only two people know about my newer "found" disorder (although I've had it my whole life, literally.) I plan on telling my sister at some point, as she is open to helping me, but I'm not going to rush it as we have a rocky past. Things are definitely going well between us, but sometimes she thinks she knows more about healing than I do.

 

[Tinyflame]

Been to T & discussed it. He believes it follows a script of having to be perfect when I was younger or people died. I had to be perfectly honest, couldn’t act up in anyway.

Sounds like you have a wise and excellent T.

:hug: