Terror is . . .
Being held down by both parents, while he rapes you.
Being bled on, while your bunny is stabbed to death.
Being held by gun point, knowing you may die.
Being the target of bottles and dishes being thrown.
Being beaten, knowing no one cares.
Being an only child of two alcoholics.
Confusion is . . .
Loving and hating at the same time.
Needing affection, but abuse is the only way.
Being homeless with no place to call home.
Going by two names because they can not agree.
Trying to be happy, when others refuse happiness.
Having a mother with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Healing
They taught me that the world is an unsafe place, but I learned it was them who were unsafe.
They gave me horrible memories to live with, but I will create wonderful ones to focus on instead.
They gave me a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, but I know those are feelings and not reality.
They taught me hyperarousal to protect myself, but I learned to breath, feel, and think when I smell wisky or are startled.
They taught me that I am not worthy of needs, thoughts, feelings, or wants, but I have learned that all humans are worthy and that includes me.
They taught me to shut down my feelings since life is too painful, but I have learned to feel.
They taught me to hide and shut up, but I will be seen, heard, and respected.
They taught me to isolate and not trust, but I will love and be brave.
They taught me to steal and manipulate, but I will obey the laws and communicate.
They taught me to drink and self harm, but I am stronger than those copying skills.
They taught me sexual pleasure involves pain, but I will continue to seperate the two.
I will break the cycle of abuse, no matter how much work it will take.
Being held down by both parents, while he rapes you.
Being bled on, while your bunny is stabbed to death.
Being held by gun point, knowing you may die.
Being the target of bottles and dishes being thrown.
Being beaten, knowing no one cares.
Being an only child of two alcoholics.
Confusion is . . .
Loving and hating at the same time.
Needing affection, but abuse is the only way.
Being homeless with no place to call home.
Going by two names because they can not agree.
Trying to be happy, when others refuse happiness.
Having a mother with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Healing
They taught me that the world is an unsafe place, but I learned it was them who were unsafe.
They gave me horrible memories to live with, but I will create wonderful ones to focus on instead.
They gave me a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, but I know those are feelings and not reality.
They taught me hyperarousal to protect myself, but I learned to breath, feel, and think when I smell wisky or are startled.
They taught me that I am not worthy of needs, thoughts, feelings, or wants, but I have learned that all humans are worthy and that includes me.
They taught me to shut down my feelings since life is too painful, but I have learned to feel.
They taught me to hide and shut up, but I will be seen, heard, and respected.
They taught me to isolate and not trust, but I will love and be brave.
They taught me to steal and manipulate, but I will obey the laws and communicate.
They taught me to drink and self harm, but I am stronger than those copying skills.
They taught me sexual pleasure involves pain, but I will continue to seperate the two.
I will break the cycle of abuse, no matter how much work it will take.
