General The Angry Thread

[Mandy M.]

I'm angry that you made me fall in love with you.
I'm angry at you for walking away.
I'm angry at you for hurting me.
I'm angry that you ruined this relationship.
I'm angry that you don't trust me.
I'm angry that I almost threw away my life for you.
I'm angry that you don't seem to miss me while I miss you like crazy.
I'm angry that you can say "I love you" but can't tell me when you need to disappear.
I'm angry that you don't do therapy or take medication
I'm angry that you get into relationships only to destroy them.
I'm angry that I can't stop thinking about you.
I'm so angry that I'm not going to take you back again.
I'm angry that you think it's okay to mistreat me because you have a mental illness.
I'm angry that you weren't the man I thought you were.

 

[LilBit]

Angry that you have made someone who is a keeper, who is the most loyal friend you could ever ask for, HAVE TO break her promises and let you go. Tired of headgames, tired of rejection, tired of not being good enough to be included with your precious family and your childhood best friend. You can stay behind your stone wall, you didn't want me, I'm not good enough to become one of the family. They are all you want, so they are all you've got. I wanted you to be part of MY family. Guess we are beneath you. You want to shut me out? Fine. Chalk up another failure. I don't think you'll ever come back to me, don't think you will ever know if I turned my back on you or not. I'm done trying to reach for somebody who only makes me look like a headcase for trying. You act normal with your shallow friend, people see you act ok, think I am crazy, because YOU HIDE THE PTSD. They don't see you give the ptsd treatment, don't hear what you told me that makes my actions make sense. Angry that I am so wounded from you that I can never be the same, you've screwed me up for anyone else in the future. All that "fake it till you make it" made me buy into that FAKE. You had multiple opportunities to minimize the damage you were inflicting but you chose to keep hurting me. I know you have issues with attachment, with abandonment, with freezing up and having difficulty communicating, but I still don't think I will ever understand your actions. If you don't come back in my life eventually, they are INEXCUSABLE.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

I'm so damn pissed off at MYSELF for getting in contact with my first husband. I told him the truth yet he's got a GF coming from Alaska to be with him and blah blah blah. I told him the truth about what happened to me and he was so shocked and upset. He says he didn't like lies but how do you tell your husband at the time you got raped while he was on active duty? HUH? I was cut up and can't have children...
It's upset me, sorry. I carry the scars of trying to defend myself. I have to just let it all go...
Talking about a backfiring...dumb me.

 

[Amanda_j]

I know not to bother him when he is isolating, so I'm not wanting a conversation. I'm not an idiot. I'm learning the "rules."

I HATE the stupid rules and I hate PTSD. I hate that I have to bite my tongue, walk on eggshells and CONSTANTLY have to put my emotional needs to the side. Emotions!? Oh my God, let's not talk about feelings or emotions because that will just guarantee that you will disappear for a few days. In fact, let's not talk much at all, about ANYTHING! I want to scream at you and tell you to get your head out of your a#@ and man up! Yes, you've heard that once or twice from me, but that was before your selfish, heartless behavior actually had a "title". Now that I KNOW, there are rules. Rules about this. Rules about that. I am angry. I hate being ignored. I hate that I have to allow it. I love you and I miss you! I hate that I feel so angry at times because I know its not your fault. But why the hell don't you speak to me about it!? I can't fix this s$#t, but YOU could help me worry less. I hate the worry when you are gone. When I have no idea what you're doing or what's going on. I hate that this came into our lives at a time when we had so much to look forward to. THANK you for starting this thread.

 

[Geevee20]

I am angry that my marriage fell apart because of his PTSD and he refuses to talk about any of it. I don't even know if he actually wants a divorce or if he just wants this to be temporary. I am angry that I have to make all the decisions about us because he won't. When it comes to me, he just shuts down completely. I am angry because I stood by him for 28 years and now it all means nothing to him.

Well I think he left you maybe because he didn't want you to go thru the pain and agony that PTSD puts on a relationship I think my wife is going to leave me sometimes and all thou I love her I want a normal life for her

 

[Wastinglight]

No, I am not a effing mindreader!

How was I to know what was going on with you last night? Your response of "Well, you should know" was NOT helpful. Then you just went to bed and fell asleep, leaving me alone and wide awake, feeling rejected and like I'd done something wrong. That's not fair. I don't think I have done anything wrong. I was only trying to be nice.

*sigh*

 

[LilBit]

Thank you for coming home a second year in a row and continuing to avoid me. Coming to my workplace, your former workplace you left unhappy, and visiting on the opposite shift so you wouldn't run into me. And thanks for letting me hear it secondhand, get caught offguard yet again. Loved hearing I got dissed again out of the blue. I understand folks with ptsd do this to their family and their spouses. But you still suck. You have to know someone will tell me eventually. I know the world doesn't revolve around me, I understand you were home for a visit and came to attend a going away thing for our comanager, but if you aren't just a user, don't accept mail and things from me. I HATE THIS. I understand that my relations to you are on a family level, not a fun friend or just coworker level, but it isn't right to shut me out, accept from me, but set me up for hurt feelings. You really suck. This is why people give up on you. It isn't just the uncertainty of whether or not you will ever allow them back in your life, it's rubbing their nose in the fact that others don't get treated like that. And no amount of book knowledge fixes the hurt that causes.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It must be nice to act any which way and feel totally justified. :mad:

 

[Deleted member 29874]

If you don't want to be misunderstood, than maybe you should stop saying such gibberish and think before talking! And thank you for hijacking my time again right after I come home!

 

[Sweetpea76]

You think it is fun to talk to me like I am dirt? f*ck you pal! *Flips Birds*

I'm angry that I am sitting here letting you spew your bile and nastiness, and just sucking it up like I deserve it.

 

[Sighs]

Grrrrrrr - I'm angry that - as usual - I am the ONLY person in your life actually trying to help you and yet I am the ONLY person in your life you are taking your stress out on. You hang up on me when I'm trying to give you the details of your medical appointment. You tell me you are sick of my whinging. You complain about not having the money to do things when you know I have even less money that you do. You complain about the food I buy.

You know what buddy? Make your own f*cking medical appointments. Get you own f*cking credit card. Do your own f*cking grocery shopping. And if you don't want me in your life just f*cking say so instead of being f*cking passive aggressive all the time.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I would rather suck the sputum out of a sick Scotsman' snot rag than go to another dysfunctional family reunion!