The "I Need A Hug" Thread

[Tanishq]

Big hug to you CourageofSnow :hug:

 

[ms spock]

Hugs Courage of Snow...

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Hugs to everyone who needs them.

I really need a hug. Or just to be validated. This past week has been so hard. Someone who doesn't know what happened to me showed me a picture of someone who abused and conditioned me for years. I hadn't seen the abuser for more than 20 years. My anxiety and hypervigilance ended up being so high and my depression has been so low. And I'm confused by someone who's special to me. I feel like I'm getting mixed signals. I can't tell if it's hypervigilance reading into something that isn't there or not so I'm constantly doing the "what if" and the "see I knew it". And then going back to thinking it's probably all in my head and beating myself up.

 

[ms spock]

Be kind to your self Blackbird rising. That is a tough experience.

 

[Whitneys story]

@blackbird rising, ((((((((((many hugs)))))))))).

If the person who showed the picture truly does not know what happened to you, it would not be intentional.

However your reaction is normal. Past invalidation is not fully processed. Do you have a therapist? I am sorry you are experiencing this.

If you can review the situation having been past, focus on how far you have progressed. It takes time to re-examine and our minds are programmed to believe we are still there. I wish you strength to find your way forward. :hug: Whitney

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Thank you Whitney :). The person truly doesn't know. I don't have the heart to tell her what her son did to me. It would crush her. It would be healthy for me and not for her. It's been more than 30 years so at this point all it would do is hurt her. And she's like a second mother to me.

I think you're right that my reaction was normal in terms of PTSD. I just don't know what normal is right now. So much has been going on. Sometimes it feels like nothing makes sense. Trauma was hard to go through. And having to go through it again through PTSD and therapy makes it feel like it won't ever be gone. I think that for me all that will happen is my symptoms will get more manageable.

 

[Whitneys story]

@blackbird rising, I do hear what you are saying. So much is in timing. We journey through the past, we get it out and hopefully get above it. Be proud of yourself for starting the journey.

When we are not able to validate the past and what is best for us we cheat ourselves. My therapist many years ago had me write letters to those I was not able to confront. It was my choice to mail them or not.

It is part of emptying the cup theory. Works wonders. It has been buried a long time and trauma rises in bits and pieces. You are worth every second of time you put in to healing. It is very confusing at this stage. Be kind to yourself. :hug: Whitney

 

[Tanishq]

Hug for blackbirdrising. :hug:

 

[Whitneys story]

I declare group hug day! Hugs for everyone including the next arrival. :hug: Whitney

 

[Deleted member 12723]

These days I can use a lot of hugs. Hugs for everyone else.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Big hugs for you gizmo. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you.

 

[ms spock]

Big hugs to you gizmo.