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The journey begins ... or continues ... articulating the rollercoaster that is my life

(we call what you American 's call an ass an arse. To us, an ass is a donkey. It's pronounced aaaaahhss)

Oh, okay. You're a badarse, then!

It's good to get shit off your chest. I wish I had something to say that would help you -- maybe later. But I'm supporting you and I truly think your kids will figure out the truth in time. It's hard to hide from people forever, even if they don't want to see it
 
Aussie slang is weird AF.
You're doing amazing, @mumstheword.
Really truly.
I read somewhere that "courage is grace under pressure", but you seem to have both courage and grace by the truckload.
On revenge, Confucius says if you seek revenge you must dig two graves - one for your enemy and one for yourself. Me, I reckon I'd need 19 graves for the bits of my enemy, assuming they ever found the body.
It's really great that you aren't seeking revenge, or happy that your ex is hurting. His losses aren't your wins, and that's a heaps better mindset to have around your kids.
As for your non-binary kid, there's tons of queer-specific counselling and often meetup groups and workshops if that's something either of you were interested in. PFLAG, ACON and Minus20 are all pretty good. I'd be happy to point you in the right direction (queer volunteer here.)
Keep on keeping on. :)
 
Aussie slang is weird AF.
You're doing amazing, @mumstheword.
Really truly.
I read som...
Yeah, we have ACON around here. I mentioned them to him the other day. We have a huge queer community in the town we trying to move into. He thinks they'll all be older peeps coz the dating sites he frequents don't have young people from here on them. He wants to move to a city but there's no way he's ready for a giant step like that yet, he has hardly been out of his room for years, until recently, when we started having contact again. He's starting to flourish now, though since we've been un-estranged.

Yesterday he texted me a pic of himself wearing pink lipstick, today he's put pink wax in his hair. He really wants pale pink hair, it's long. He's more of a feminist than I am (I'm just not into gender bias at all).

I reckon we're all non-binary , I'm more like me Dad than mother (my Dad is an Aspie scholar) my guy raised and fed his babies, when they were babies, he's extremely nurturing., Their mum's weren't maternal. Oh I'm also a shit housekeeper, incapable of said homemaking arts, at this point.. I think I'll call myself a non-binary equalist.
Also, I was the one to initiate and pursue the relationship, me thinks I'm very much a non-binary woman.with balls.
 
So I'm recovering from yet another one of my kids threatening suicide. I was able to talk sense into him.
He was going to come up after that but went to the pub instead, said he would come up to eat here after that but just didn't. Didn't answer texts or phone calls from me or his older brother either.

Now I'm not complaining that I'm tied up in knots about him, I honestly think he's fine, it was a tantrum and a non-issue. There are real issues, but the conversation that lead to the threat was a farcical defence of someone he didn't even know, that I do know, about them being offended and upset by people accidentally getting a gender pronoun "wrong".

I think maybe we just need to throw the whole idea of gender out, because apparently it has nothing to do with sex (genitals) anymore so it's just a "cultural construct", yeah, one that is causing huge amounts of discriminatory "gender" politics now, divisive rhetoric, that had my kid thinking, somehow, I didn't respect his choice to be "non binary" instead of me saying, choosing an identity of "non-binary" doesn't preclude one from the consequences of exhibiting a lack of social grace, as in the case of the individual in question.
To which he threatened to kill himself, because "if you and Dad don't respect my choice to be non binary then maybe I should just kill myself"
To which I responded, "you don't even know this person. I'm calling an ambulance". To which he replied You won't find me".
This was a text conversation. I immediately rang him, crying, and eventually got to clarify my point, validate his pain and calm him down.
He was on his way up here, after that, because his Autistic brother turned up and he didn't want to see him.
He didn't turn up. I texted him "are you ok?" He said "yeah, I'm at the pub". Then was going to turn up here, later, for food.
Anyway, long story short; No one's heard from him since.
I think he's ok. I think his phone is flat and he "got lucky" at the pub.
Although I haven't checked, today, to see whether he turned up.
Otherwise he's being a mean bitch and just turning the knife in my guts again, because as my partner says "I'm a lovely, sweet hearted soft target" , by this I'm referring to; not answering his phone or replying to texts after threatening to do the ultimate hurtful thing coz he's not dealing and namng actual issues. That, or something's happened to him.
 
So I'm recovering from yet another one of my kids threatening suicide. I was able to talk sense int...
Hey, I'm so sorry your kid threatened suicide. And isn't answering. That sounds terrible. You're obviously both in a lot of pain right now. Being in pain doesn't absolve him (them?) of the obligation not to be a jerk, though.
I mean all the next stuff in the nicest possible way. Please don't take this as a criticism or anything.
Would you be interested in having a chat to someone who understands queer/NB/trans stuff and is actually going to listen to you instead of calling you wrong or a bigot (as the left so often do?) I'm queer and consider myself a trans* ally, and have done a lot of work as "straight liaison" - basically talking to cis-het (not trans, straight) people and institutions. I don't want to preach or proselytize or convert, and I'm not gonna hijack your thread with it, but if you do wanna talk to someone who gets it from both ends and is interested in your feelings and point of view, the offer is there. Just drop me a message.
Too often, I think, there's a lot of 'you must' from the queer camp and not a lot of explanation or two-way conversation.
That being said, misgendering kills, and I've seen that happen. 49% of trans people have attempted suicide, and 32% have completed it. I've known people that have.
Here to listen, if you wanna talk.
 
Yeah, my.kid is calling himself non binary male. And I'm utterly cool with it. He's also been witness to a shitload of abuse and lying and vilifying of me his entire life so I think that stuff needs addressing.
I don't think this stuff is about people not accepting him because there was never any non-acceptance of whatever identity he wants to be.
It's more about treating people with respect and not setting them up with fictious slights because your not ok with being clear with people because you actually aren't even clear about yourself.
My town Is full of freaks. Basically we don't mind what you look like. People wear whatever they want and it's all ok.
This (other) kid in question wants to be completely non binary, and is pretty rude about it.
The rudeness was the issue, the wearing whatever they want isn't an issue. The not being addressed as male or female is only problematic because, as a culture, we haven't developed language to reflect non-binary-identifying people's needs, which isn't my or my very accepting daughter's fault (she and I have both been verbally jumped on by this person) , being confused and distressed about gender might be something the person in question needs to own, instead of expecting everyone else to be hypervigilant around something you can't give a direct request about. (They just don't like being referred to as a he or a she, it's pretty tricky for everyone to get it right all the time, they haven't come out either way)

C-ptsd kills too, I have it. Nobody here (in this town/my daughter's school) is abusing anybody about their gender but some are accusing others of it and I have issue with that.
The person in question is very rude and condescending, that's the issue, not their gender. Them trying to make it about gender, yeah, triggers me. There, I'm owning my own issue.
Rudeness, emotional manipulation, condescension, "entitled" behaviour, I find irritating.
Trans people? I'm fine with.
Gay people? No problem.
"Queer people" ? I love all peoples diverse and authentic, unless they give me reason not too.
 
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