Relationship The Positive Aspects Of Loving Someone With Ptsd

[Lilmssunshine]

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns,

Or Rejoice

Because thorn bushes have roses.

Of course loving someone with PTSD comes with its challenges. But I wanted to take the time to focus on the positives.

The man I love will give the shirt off his back to someone in need. Once we were riding together when he stopped to give a homeless man money. I feel people with PTSD learn how to be more compassionate for others. Even while they're numb sometimes.

The man I love has loved me unconditionally for three years. Even through the bad times. He knows what it feels like to be left because of his problems.so he sticks by my side through my problems.

He knows great pain and struggles to be happy sometime. Therefore he has a great appreciation for my happy go lucky attitude.

His pride for fighting for his country though he has been through hell is admirable!!!

He holds me closer than any other man at night while he has nightmares. I loved being his teddy bear though he would wake me up yelling at times.

I'd love to read some of your positives with your Loved one.

 

[Kintsugi]

I think the silver-lining stuff you outline has more to do with your relationship than it does PTSD.

I don't hold anyone close at night. I'll abandon someone if I smell disloyalty. I think people with a happy-go-lucky outlook are insufferable to be around for too long. I do help people a lot, but I I saw an amputee on crutches walking down the street late at night and couldn't stop because I'm too afraid of being raped or otherwise assaulted (regardless of the legs). Footnote to that: I was on the phone with a vet with PTSD and he told me he wouldn't advise me picking up that guy, either.

The only thing that really holds true for my PTSD in the above is that I do tend to stick around regardless of others' issues... but that bites me in the ass a lot. I am currently wriggling free of a half-decade relationship because of that tendency, and it totally blows.

 

[Meadowsweet]

@smarrero thank you for sharing that. I love these forums because I can talk about stuff here, that I can't talk about anywhere else, and have someone understand. But I really hate these forums because of the prejudice so often projected onto ALL people with PTSD, from spouses of that are struggling.

I'm single because I struggle to trust people to love and care, so it matters to me to hear someone say that they love their partner and to notice the beautiful qualities that are there because of, not despite of, trauma.

I'm very loving/maternal, unassuming and caring. I'm analytical too and will take the time to try to understand someone without judgement. I do believe that the reason I can do that, is because of experiencing trauma. It's good for me to note too, as too often I don't. So again, thank you for sharing your lovely feelings.

 

[Sweetpea76]

My vet is fiercely protective of me and my children. The hypervigilance is hell on him, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but I can't help but appreciate how much he looks out for our safety and wellbeing.

 

[Peach]

My guy is very detail oriented and has an amazing memory, which I think is probably because of the hypervigilance (which doesn't sound nearly as amped up as poor @Sweetpea76 's vet), it makes him a fantastic story teller! It's like you're there. In a more practical sense, he can walk me through a project step by step off the top of his head. He's a real life instruction manual. Twice, yes twice, he's told me the wattage of all the lightbulbs in his house...no, not interesting, but fascinating nonetheless, because who knows that stuff??? LMAO!

He knows there are a lot of things about him that people try to work around in an effort to not stress him out, that makes him very accomdating when someone else asks him to do something. He will find a way to make it happen, it's his way of saying thank you.

He knows what it's like to be lonely, to have to fend for himself, and feel unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. Because of that, I've found him to be genuinely touched and appreciative when I do something sweet for him, from a big "Pandora's Box" of birthday presents to doing the dishes to buying him an ice cream cone after a long walk. He is also very good about showing his love by recipricating.

At rock bottom he was suicidal, and he is disgusted (with the various governments) by the suicide rate of veterans. One lost life is too many and each one he hears about hits him hard. He has a tender heart.