therapist emotional/psychological abuse

[brokenpony]

The vulnerability is very hard which is why I have female therapists. I don't want to say much as you said it all pretty much already. if I put myself in your shoes and I'm feeling your feelings I don't trust anyone. Everyone should get out now. : )

That's my cPTSD talking and my experience. Thanks for sharing it, I think your brave but I think that's probably not a great situation for you. I don't worry about this with the women. That's just me. I just don't do the sexual abuse stuff with men. I have spoken about with other men who are survivors but in general I just don't. I see female doctors as well. It just works better for me.

thanks for saying i’m brave, i don’t often feel brave. you seem brave too. i think that ptsd really messes with your brain after awhile. i get triggered a lot and don’t know how to read real and imagined threats. so much of my life is “get out NOW” and then telling myself i’m overreacting. so when i feel “get out now” i’m used to rationalizing it away which is why i’m having so much trouble with this situation.

 

[ladee]

I would like to point out something here. Your 'gut' is telling you this T is wrong for you in any number of ways. Do you realize how empowering that is??

YOU know something is wrong. It doesn't matter how long this man has been a T. It is not a good fit if you leave there at the end of session, with questions like this. And you mentioned a number of times, how this has been gradual. Fantastic for YOU that you see and notice that. If it feels wrong, then it is!!!!


It doesn't matter about the transference. That is the least worrisome about this situation. AND you own this. I don't think you see how smart and observant you are. There are red flags all over this situation and you have pointed each of them out. That is some awesome insight!!!!

You have nothing to loose by finding another T. Trust yourself. Trust your feelings of being so uncomfortable and confused. It's understandable that this being your first T you would question yourself, but you are questioning him and his lack of healthy boundaries..

I can't stress enough that YOU are on target here about him. And I agree with not re-traumatizing yourself. I feel you do not want this to happen or you would not have asked for feedback.

You sound grounded when sharing your concerns. So please, walk away and find a T that will help you to realize your true self and help you heal. You have amazing insight, trust it. Trust yourself. Leave sooner rather than later.

Trust yourself!!

 

[brokenpony]

I would like to point out something here. Your 'gut' is telling you this T is wrong for you in any number of ways. Do you realize how empowering that is??

YOU know something is wrong. It doesn't matter how long this man has been a T. It is not a good fit if you leave there at the end of session, with questions like this. And you mentioned a number of times, how this has been gradual. Fantastic for YOU that you see and notice that. If it feels wrong, then it is!!!!


It doesn't matter about the transference. That is the least worrisome about this situation. AND you own this. I don't think you see how smart and observant you are. There are red flags all over this situation and you have pointed each of them out. That is some awesome insight!!!!

You have nothing to loose by finding another T. Trust yourself. Trust your feelings of being so uncomfortable and confused. It's understandable that this being your first T you would question yourself, but you are questioning him and his lack of healthy boundaries..

I can't stress enough that YOU are on target here about him. And I agree with not re-traumatizing yourself. I feel you do not want this to happen or you would not have asked for feedback.

You sound grounded when sharing your concerns. So please, walk away and find a T that will help you to realize your true self and help you heal. You have amazing insight, trust it. Trust yourself. Leave sooner rather than later.

Trust yourself!!

thank you, i appreciate this a lot. obviously i havent been skilled at picking up manipulation in the past which is why i’m there in the first place so maybe i am getting better at it haha.

 

[ladee]

You are getting very good at it!!! Hope things work out for you to have a T that knows what they are doing and has your best interest at the forefront, as you sound so ready to get on with the healing journey. Best of luck to you!!!

 

[Muttly]

Let's say like he's a great t in general and his approach works for many people. What is clear is it's not working for you. You recognize that the attachment you have for him isn't the healthy sort, and that there are many things he does that you find off or triggering. That, all by itself is enough reason to find a new T.

And there certainly seem to be red flags in what you are describing. Another reason to get a new t.

 

[Emotional girl]

To me this doesn't sound like a very healthy therapeutic relationship and you should seriously consider seeing a different therapist.
With regards to the erotic transference I had this as well with my last therapist and he knew but not once did he take advantage of the situation.
A good therapeutic relationship should be built on trust and understanding without the therapist being judgemental in anyway.There should also be boundaries put in place for both the client and the therapist.
If you do not feel comfortable within the therapeutic room then you will not achieve your goal of trying to move on and it will be another abusive relationship.
I hope that you find another therapist who treats you in the right way.

 

[ILoveLife]

I've had the same happen to me with a T before, and I changed T's. I didn't change for much better but it wasn't as bad either.

After a year and a half of not seeing him, I'm still recovering from therapy with him, so my advice to you is to quit now before there's even more damage.

 

[Cypress]

I agree with everyone else. Time to get a new T. This one sounds incompetent or unethical or both.

 

[Slushie]

I agree that you should find another therapist, definitely stop with this one.

 

[scout86]

You might consider talking to him about your concerns. You certainly aren't obligated to do that, but sometimes practicing sticking up for yourself is good.

 

[joeylittle]

You might consider talking to him about your concerns.

I second this.

Also: are you a minor, and does this therapist specialize in youth/young adults?

 

[brokenpony]

I second this.

Also: are you a minor, and does this therapist specialize in youth/young adults?

not a minor. he doesn’t specialize but i know he sees youth.