Therapist Terminated With Me

[Panda Bear]

I'm just so sorry.....can't even imagine.

 

[Deleted member 33880]

I got about an hour's sleep last night in ten minute slots. I did take valium twice but it is not working, my chest hurts like a whole melon sized chunk has been ripped out of it.

 

[Freedomfighter]

After working with him for six years, with a contract that he is ending June 31st 2017 when he takes ear...

Did your therapist let you know ahead of time that he will retire? I mean, ideally when patients count on a doctor to help in such situations it would be very beneficial for the patient to know that the therapist is going towards retirement. Because then the patient can prepare himself or herself better.....

 

[Deleted member 33880]

Yes, we were working towards an ending of June 2017. this latest sudden termination is a complete shock to me.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I'm so sorry Kaluki :hug: please take good care of yourself and try to do things that take your mind off this. What an awful thing he's done :(

 

[Deleted member 33880]

Yes, I would never have started working with him six years ago if I had known this is how it would end.

 

[joeylittle]

@Kaluki - does it help you to remember that he is going through a crisis of his own, and that he's not doing anything to you - life has happened to him, as it happens to anyone, sometimes at the worst of times.

Not to be extreme - but if he'd been in an accident and passed away, would you still carry this much betrayal? Would you really choose to go back and never have done any of the good work that you did with him?

I know you've written about deep struggles with attachment, and so I do understand that this is especially difficult for you. But, I don't think you are helping yourself by retaining any thoughts whatsoever that he's abandoned you. He hasn't. From everything you've said, he's not shirking, or ducking. He's had the equivalent of a terrible accident, and yes - it's abrupt and difficult to adjust to - but it's not any action he's performing against you, specifically, or any of his other clients.

You've been clear that you do care about this person. So it might be a good time to get aggressive about re-framing this away from 'he did this to me' to 'this happened, and it's hard, but I'm adjusting to it'.

 

[Deleted member 33880]

'this happened, and it's hard, but I'm adjusting to it'.
I shall try that.
I shall try really really hard

 

[expectingbetter]

@Kaluki you are doing the best you can, it is completely normal that you feel that way.
You are so brave and strong.
I know the feeling you have in your chest, I know that feeling of physical pressure, I had it too and it was when my therapist is only leaving for a summer, I can only imagine how you could feel right now.
You are not alone, we are here for you.
Bad things happening and unfortunately we mostly can't do anything to prevent them
Hang in there
:hug:

 

[Deleted member 33880]

I sent him a card today. Next Monday is our sixth anniversary of working together and I had bought a lovely card to give him. So I sent him just saying that I hope he is doing okay and that whatever is going on, things will get better, as 'you always tell me'.

 

[expectingbetter]

It is wonderful thing what you have just done.
Really generous and caring especially when we know how much you are suffering.
I hope you feel at least a bit better now after you have sent it.

 

[Deleted member 33880]

Yes. It has reminded me how much he sincerely cares about me as I do him. I think in the long term this ending will be something he works to make okay for me. I have stopped feeling 'he just dumped me' and moved to 'he is overwhelmed and he is probably anguished that this has happened'.