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Total Loss of Safety - Therapist Terminated Therapy

#13
This really sux. No way round that. Had a few pretty bad Ts in the past, and they do a lot more damage than I think they realise. One T I'd been seeing twice weekly for a few years got his boss to call me out of the blue to tell me there'd be no more appointments. And, no reason given. That sucked. Trust is hard won these days.

Fwiw? It sounds like this T may at least realise that they've come to the end of how much they're professionally equipped to help you, and if they're prepared to have an appointment with you to talk about "Where to from here", that may be really useful.

I spent over 5 years with one T, spinning my tyres, not realising he was working way outside his comfort zone. And it came to an abrupt halt when the damage he'd done went from poorly-contained to not-contained-at-all.

If you can, use this as a launching pad for the next phase of your healing. It's a shitty situation to be in, but the sooner you get set up with someone who knows what they're doing, and has what it takes to stick it out with you, the better.
 
#14
Thanks for all the replies.
I actually think my main problem with the whole situation is that things don't quite add up. This is just so unlike her. Even in the last session in which did say it may be better if I change therapist because I wasn't making progress, and I mentioned that means that she's terminating the therapy, she specifically said, if she wanted to do so she would say it.
She is not normally someone who doesn't say what she thinks.
It's like I'm missing a piece of information. Things just don't add up.
Yes, she's a payed service but tell that to the internal children. (Possibly DID here, I have been given the diagnosis but I am not sure it fits all the way) They don't understand and I can't get them calmed down at least not for longer than a few hours.
And somethings I learned in therapy are actually hard to do because they remind me of her and actually send me back to one particular memory which then sends me into a flashback. I know that's kind of stupid, but that's the way it is.
I'm already looking for a new therapist. But everything in me says I don't want to open up to anybody else anymore, which I intellectually I know will hurt me in the long run.
I'm just so confused and feel so crazy. The last 3 years have been a wild ride.
This just isn't my life. I just want to go to work and finish school (ironically to become a psychotherapist).
Similar conflicted feelings with DDNOS/OSDD -I have every reason from my T's behavior to believe she was abused and also highly dissociative and couldn't remember what happened week to week. When my T break up occurred, I had the worst head noise for some time and I was super angry. Insiders revolted.....had to do shamanic journeying to quell the internal meltdown, in a safe head space, and put a lid on things. When you find your next therapist, you can process it with her. I like my new therapist and she is a good match,
but I realize because of that one bad experience.....I hold back.
 
#15
And somethings I learned in therapy are actually hard to do because they remind me of her and actually send me back to one particular memory which then sends me into a flashback. I know that's kind of stupid, but that's the way it is.
I’ve experienced the same thing after a termination. Over time, I was able to claim the tools again, and the weird link back to the therapist and other stuff faded. Some tools I also replaced for better ones.
The plan is to wait until after her vacation (until September 8th)and hopefully she will actually give me an appointment.
The email about tidying up loose ends hopefully indicates a session to talk about why she is terminating.

Ultimately, she may not tell you - she may not even know or it could be a super personal reason. Maybe her stuff got stirred up. Maybe she realized you are graduating beyond her skill set to the next level of healing.

I hope you find clarity and peace.
 
#20
the sooner you get set up with someone who knows what they're doing, and has what it takes to stick it out with you, the better.
That made me think of every relationship I had before my husband. It's great relationship advice.

People are, in general, pretty poorly equipped to deal with people who have actually endured genuinely hard things. Therapists are unfortunately not always an exception.

I am sorry for the feelings of loss and abandonment.
 
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