Therapy tomorrow and i'm scared

[blueangel371115]

I start therapy tomorrow and I'm scared. i don't know where to start, if the T leads you or lets you start. I have incidents from almost 25 years ago to 7 years ago. All affected me in different ways, some due to age. Some of them are pretty scary but I really don't want to go anywhere legally with it and don't want to be compelled to either. Not that they coerced me not to, I just don't find that is constructive to do so. I just want to process it in my head and desensitize myself for my mental well being.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Hi there! First off, great job on taking this step! Takes a lot of bravery!

They will most likely lead so no worries there. The first session they will ask you a lot of questions about your history. Share as much as you feel comfortable with. It could be really helpful saying things like "I have some issues with that but I'm really scared to talk about it now but I want to address it at some point" or whatever you want to say like that.

Also since it is a fear that you will feel pressured into taking legal action say that as well. "I'm scared you'll want me to do something I don't want to do". I know it feels like it but they aren't in charge. YOU are. You get to decide what you talk about and what actions you do or do not take. I think if it's something that's ongoing and affecting minors still or something they legally have to report it so keep that in mind.

Good luck!!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

When I started the process, I had to put things in writing that I wanted to address, or else once I got there, I'd forget it all, trip over my thoughts, or get sucked into feeling even more awkward and likely clam up. I'd take two copies, one for them and one for me, and I took notes during the session to help me remember stuff, and asked for their recommendations in writing, for my brain's sake.

Also take some comfort items with you to help keep you grounded. For me, that's usually my diffuser necklace with a favorite essential oil scent, comfortable warm clothing, my notepad that I refer to as my brain, and a warm cup of hot lemon/ginger water to sip on. If I have pockets, I'll also stick a few of my favorite stones in there to hold on to and rub if I'm anxious. Deep breathing goes with me everywhere, too. My first go-to in most all situations.

Reaching out for and receiving help can be unnerving, to say the least, but doing so and finally finding good help is priceless. Wishing you the best in your experiences.

 

[blueangel371115]

Hi there! First off, great job on taking this step! Takes a lot of bravery!

I think if it's something that's ongoing and affecting minors still or something they legally have to report it so keep that in mind.

Good luck!!

That's what I figured. Those incidents were when I was a minor and only lasted a few years. Nothing sexual or anything with me as a child and adults. Except there was incidents with my siblings but no adult was involved and no one was over 12. I was/am afraid talking about it will get it us in trouble. That fear comes from the punishment from my parents later.

 

[loui50]

I have had similar fears about being forced to take action I don't want to take. My T has let me know that is an option, but not something I have to do if I don't want to. I'm an adult and it is my decision. She has told me that I don't HAVE to do anything she says or suggests. I always have the right to say that doesn't work for me, lets try something else. I just want to get passed my past and be able to live comfortably in my own skin. She gets that. It is a hard first step to enter therapy but you got this! Ask questions if that will make you more comfortable. Ask what s/he is required to report. I would even say up front that I have issues with xyz and have no interest in taking action other than for myself and just make sure you are on the same page. Best of luck to you!

 

[blueangel371115]

Thanks. I think it will be a good thing.

 

[Deleted member 42665]

how did it go?

 

[blueangel371115]

Pretty good. I started crying and needed my comfort item. Things really hurt me to discuss. But I needed to. She says for sure I have it. She didn't want to go on my other therapist's word, which I appreciate. :):tup: She says she wants to do EMDR. She's a trauma therapist and does it often. I'm a bit nervous and doing research on it before next session. I will do it of course, but like I told her, i look things up in advance so I can have a productive discussion with her. Which she appreciated. I was a bit raw emotionally after, but I guess it happens.